time, back when we were still expanding hell for leather. I was working long hours, Olivia was busy with the boys. I was never there, not how it counted, and she was always so bloody bitter, Carl. Seb and Dommie were boisterous kids, they took it out of her. She was tired, I was tired. It was shit.”
“Sounds like life,” I said.
“Debbie was everything Olivia wasn’t. She had so much energy, so much enthusiasm.”
“Debbie is Katie’s mother?”
He nodded. “My secretary. Nineteen years old. Less than half my age.” He smiled, noticed his scotch and took a sip. “Should’ve known better, Carl. Should’ve known to keep it in my pants.”
I shrugged. “You aren’t the only man who can’t keep his dick to himself, sure as hell aren’t going to be the last.”
“We got close. I know they always say that, but it’s true. She listened. She was always listening, actually listening, you know? She had the most amazing laugh, the most genuine smile.” He tipped his glass in my direction. “Katie has her smile. You can see every emotion on her face, that girl, just like her mother. Same freckles, too.”
I felt a knot in my stomach. Something uncomfortable and vulnerable and exposed. “Katie’s a beautiful girl.”
He nodded. “I loved her mother, Carl, she wasn’t just a fling. I used to watch her across the office, and I’d dream of a different life. I’d wonder what it would be like to wake up with her in the morning, how we’d spend our evenings, what our home would be like. What our kids would look like.”
My stomach panged at the honesty in his confession.
“Had it bad, then?” I said.
He didn’t answer, just stared beyond me. “Six months we were seeing each other, and then I cooled it off. Olivia was at breaking point, and I felt so bad for the boys, Carl. The guilt crippled me. I talked myself into giving it another go, one last shot. Stupid. It was stupid.” He laughed a sad laugh. “I wanted to be with another woman, and still I convinced myself to stay.”
“Understandable,” I said. “For the boys.”
His eyes met mine, and they were so blue, just like Katie’s. “We had sex. Just once. Just to try and get the spark back.”
I held up a hand. “You don’t need to tell me the details, David, not if you don’t want to.”
He waved my words aside. “Once, Carl, it was just once, and I knew then. I knew my heart wasn’t in it, would never be in it. I loved Olivia, she’d given me two beautiful boys and made a home for them, she’d been there when I was a nobody and was still right there when I wasn’t. She’s a good woman, Carl, she’s still a good woman, but I was in love with Debbie.”
“And then?” I prompted.
“I told Debbie I was leaving Olivia. She was so happy, Carl. So fucking happy. I can still picture her face.” He rubbed his forehead. “We talked about how things would be. We made plans, so many fucking plans. All I needed to do was tell Olivia it was over. I psyched myself up to it over a couple of weeks. We were busy, they went quickly. Two weeks, three weeks, a month. Debbie was getting edgy, I could see it in her eyes, so one day I just bit the bullet. I drove home and waited until the boys were in bed and told Liv we needed to talk.” His eyes were so pained when they looked at mine. “She agreed, said we very much needed to talk.” I knew before he said it, but I didn’t stop his flow. “She was pregnant, Carl. Fucking pregnant.”
I nodded. “Verity.”
“Our little princess.” He finished his scotch. “Olivia knew about Debbie. I hadn’t been all that quiet about it. She wanted her gone.”
“What did you do?”
“I broke Debbie’s heart.” He sighed. “Gave her a good severance package, told her I was sorry, told her I didn’t have a choice.” He looked me in the eye. “I didn’t know she was pregnant, too. Fucking hell, Carl, what were the fucking odds? Five days apart, Verity and Katie. Five fucking days.”
“That’s… virile.” I smiled.
“That’s a fucking nightmare,” he said. “Debbie left, wanted nothing to do with me once I’d chosen Olivia over her. I found out she was pregnant through a friend of hers, girl in the office called Maggie. I went round to her parents’ house and confronted her, but she