He ruined my mum’s whole life. Ruined her. Used her and spat her out when she got pregnant, and me along with her.” I stared at Carl and his eyes were shocked, and stern, and full of something. Pity, maybe. “What?” I said. “What’s that face for?”
He shrugged. “I’m just taken aback.”
“Why? Why taken aback? I told you already, the guy’s a prick.”
“I’m taken aback, because that isn’t the story I heard, not by a clear mile.”
“Well, he wouldn’t have wanted to tell you the actual truth, would he?” I said. “Of course he wouldn’t!” He went to speak but changed his mind, I saw him waiver, saw him close his mouth and check himself and turn the other cheek.
He looked at his watch. “I think we should wrap this up,” he said. “Before this goes any further.”
I shrugged. “But I haven’t even filled in my form yet. When am I supposed to start?”
“My position still stands,” he said. “Your application is unsuccessful. You’re free to leave.”
I couldn’t believe it. He was actually serious.
“No!” I said. “I need to do this, for Harrison Gables. I’ll do it!”
He shook his head. “You’re not in it for the right reasons.”
“So?”
“So, it matters,” he said. “It matters to me.” And I laughed, I laughed so hard he scowled at me. “What? What’s suddenly so funny?”
“You’ll pay me for sex, but you won’t let me work with you, because I’m working with you for the wrong reasons. Have you any idea how fucking ridiculous that sounds?”
“I don’t care how ridiculous it sounds, that’s the truth of it.”
“You’ll be my sugar daddy, but not my boss?”
He nodded. “If you want to see it that way. I prefer not to.”
I couldn’t help but pull a face. “How do you want to see it?”
“Not here,” he said. “This isn’t a conversation for the office. I have things to do.”
He stood to leave and plastered a smile on his face, and this was over, my Harrison Gables dream was over.
“Wait,” I said. “Just wait a minute.”
But he didn’t wait. “I have to go,” he said. “I’ve got nineteen people depending on my guidance in Cheltenham.”
“And what about me?”
He shrugged. “Find some other way to fulfil your dreams, something that your heart is in.”
“But I…” I blustered. “I’d be good. I could work hard. I could do really well.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Bite me, baby. That’s how you choose to attend an interview?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t come here for an interview, I came here to tell my stupid father to get stuffed.”
“By dressing like a petulant teenager?”
I tipped my head against the back of the chair. “Something like that.”
He checked his watch again. “I really should leave, Katie. I have somewhere to be.”
I looked between him, and the door, and the file he’d left on the desk, and I went for it, darted like a snake to the application form he’d put away, and fumbled around the place looking for a pen.
“What are you doing?” he asked. “It’s already been decided.”
I kept looking, but there was nothing, not even a crappy pencil. What kind of useless as shit meeting room was this supposed to be? I sighed. “Give me a pen, please.”
He stood quietly for a few seconds, staring. I held my hand out, waiting.
And then he reached in his inside pocket and pulled out a pen. “This doesn’t change anything,” he said. “This programme is for people who really want to be there.”
“Just button it a minute,” I said, and my fingers were scrawling.
“This isn’t going to affect my decision, Katie. I’m sorry.”
But he was wrong.
Wrong about my dad, and wrong about me, too.
I continued regardless, scribbling and scrawling through all the questions, and he didn’t move, didn’t leave, didn’t say another word to distract me.
I finished and closed the pen lid, handed him the form with a flourish of triumph.
I watched his face as he read it, watched his eyes. Watched the way he looked at me, and then looked at me again, over and over.
“So?” I said. “What now?”
He pulled out his car keys, held them up. “I’m going to Cheltenham, like I said. I have people waiting.” He opened the door, swung it wide. And then he held it there, open. “It’s where the internship is based,” he said. “You’d better come with me.”
“I’ll check,” he said. “I’ll check everything on that form. I always check.”
“Be my guest. I’m not a liar.”
“I’d certainly hope not.” His eyes dug into me, made my knees