“I know,” Felding said gently. “But it has to be done.”
He heard feet in the hall outside and glanced at the clock. Exactly ten minutes. Sarah was back.
“It looks just the same,” Sarah said as Elizabeth turned into the long driveway that led to the house. “Only smaller. I remembered it as being much bigger than it is.”
“They say that always happens with a house you only remember as a child. The house doesn’t get smaller, but you get bigger. The result is the same. You don’t feel bigger, so things must have gotten smaller.”
She parked the car in the garage, and they began Walking to the house. Without realizing it, Elizabeth had adopted her father’s old custom of using only the front door, and she headed in that direction now.
“Just like Father,” Sarah commented. When Elizabeth looked at her curiously, Sarah went on. “Don’t you remember? He would never use any door except the front door. It was practically a ceremony.”
“I’d forgotten, I guess,” Elizabeth confessed. “You really remember that?”
“Oh, I remember practically everything now, even during that year before I went to Ocean Crest Except for the last few weeks. There are some fuzzy patches, and I can’t seem to get through the fog. And 1’m not sure I want to. I suppose Larry told you.”
“Do you call all the doctors at Ocean Crest by their first names? Or is Dr. Felding special?”
Sarah laughed. “He’s not special, except in the way all the people at Ocean Crest are special. We call all of them by their first names. Don’t forget, I didn’t even know Larry was a doctor during the first years. I just thought he was another nut.”
An expression of consternation crossed Elizabeth’s face. “How can you talk that way?” she said.
“What way?”
“Referring to yourself and everyone else at Ocean Crest as a nut?”
“Sorry,” Sarah said. “I forgot I usually don’t say that in front of outsiders. It seems to bother them, like it bothered you. But it doesn’t bother us,” she said serenely. “We think ‘nut’ is a much better word than ‘paranoid schizophrenic’ or ‘manic depressive.’ It sounds so much more human.”
“I’ll never get used to that place,” Elizabeth said. “But it seems to work, so I guess it’s all right.”
“Why don’t you check in?” Sarah suggested lightly. “Who knows? If you try real hard, maybe you can be crazy too. But it’s not easy,” she added, her voice taking on a more serious tone. “It takes a lot of energy to be the way I was for so long. Maybe I was just too tired to talk.”
“Like Mrs. Goodrich,” Elizabeth said, feeling a sudden desire to change the subject It was a lot easier for Sarah to talk about her illness than it was for her.
“How is she?” Sarah asked.
“As well as can be expected, considering her age,” Elizabeth replied. “She might not know who you are, and she might say some strange things. I just wanted to warn you.”
“I’m used to people saying strange things,” Sarah said, her grin lighting her face. “Lead me to her.”
Elizabeth unlocked the door, and they stepped into the entry hall.
“Just the same,” Sarah said. “Just like I remember it.” She moved from room to room, taking in everything. “You haven’t changed anything, have you. Don’t you get bored with it?”
“Bored with it?” Elizabeth repeated. “Why should I?”
“I don’t know. I should think you’d want a change now and then, that’s all.”
For some reason Elizabeth suddenly felt slightly uncomfortable. “I suppose I’m my father’s daughter,” she said, a little stiffly. “He never wanted things to change either.”
“I hope you’re not completely your father’s daughter,” Sarah remarked. “If you are, I don’t think I want to go to the woods with you.”
Elizabeth felt her stomach knot, and looked at her sister with horror. “How can you say such a thing, Sarah?”
Sarah’s grin faded, and she looked into Elizabeth’s eyes. “I think we’d better have a little talk, Elizabeth,” she said. “I can wait to see Mrs. Goodrich. Where’s a good place?”
“The back study,” Elizabeth said. “I use it more than any other room in the house.” She led the way, feeling uneasy about what Sarah might have to say to her. She decided to fix herself a drink.
“Fix me one, too?” Sarah asked her, and when Elizabeth looked at her strangely, Sarah went on, “We drink at Ocean Crest, too.”
She sat down and waited until Elizabeth handed her a glass and took a chair