week or two and then he’s back in New York for the rest of the year. 4L is rolling out something big, and he’s in charge of security around it.”
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hang with Case. It was that being in Sanctum reminded him how fucking dull his life had become. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but somehow the things that used to hold meaning for him had faded. Somehow turning thirty had been a tipping point, and now playing video games all night with strangers across the globe no longer held appeal.
Which was precisely why he should go to the club, find a pretty sub, and pass a nice night.
Yeah, that had lost its appeal, too.
“Maybe I will come,” he hedged because he didn’t want Theo to think he was dodging Case.
Theo looked like he wasn’t completely buying the words, but he nodded. “I hope to see you there. Michael, thanks for the hospitality. It was fun to spend an afternoon with the guys.”
Because Theo rarely did it anymore. He usually spent his Saturdays at his daughter’s soccer games or doing things with his son. He was a family man, and it was obvious that made him happy.
Michael Malone stood in his entryway and nodded. There was a smile on his face, but it couldn’t hide the grimness in his eyes.
It hadn’t been that long since Michael had called off his long-planned wedding, and there were still touches of his fiancée all over the condo.
The door closed behind Theo and he was left alone with Michael. They’d been friends for years. Over a decade. Hutch had been the tech expert on the CIA team Michael and the other guys worked for back in the day. Most of that same team now worked at McKay-Taggart, though they all found themselves at different places in life. Theo and Case had been married for years. Some of the other guys were in seemingly happy relationships. Some were single and mingling.
Hutch felt stuck, and he wondered if that wasn’t how Michael felt, too.
“You going to Sanctum tonight?” Michael had been a regular when he’d been with his fiancée. Hutch still wasn’t sure what had happened between the two, but Michael hadn’t dated since the breakup.
Michael’s mouth turned down in a frown. “I should, but I think I’m going to stay here and watch the late game. You’re welcome to join me. I’ve noticed you haven’t been going regularly.”
Hanging out with Michael might be a better way to spend his evening. At least he wouldn’t watch the scenes and the couples and try to figure out why he felt restless. After he’d broken up with Katy, he’d spent a lot of time at the club, but no time connecting with anyone. “It doesn’t feel the same lately. It’s weird. I can’t seem to find my focus. I haven’t found a scene partner I click with in a long time.”
He’d only had a couple of women he’d viewed as anything beyond transitory partners. There were subs he would scene with when they needed a top, but none of them had been “his.” His one foray into the vanilla dating world had been a spectacular disaster that led him to almost a year of celibacy, and he couldn’t seem to get back into a routine.
“Give yourself some time. I know that breakup was hard on you,” Michael said.
That was part of the problem. “It really wasn’t. It was a relief.”
Michael crossed to the bar and pulled out the good Scotch. “How so?”
“I didn’t start dating Katy for the right reasons.” He’d worked through all of this, but he wondered if Michael might be the one who needed to talk. “I did it because she made sense, and it felt like it was time to settle down. I kind of floated through it, you know. When I found out she was cheating on me, I wasn’t even mad. She brought her new boyfriend to pick up her stuff from my place and I sat down and played a couple of rounds of Halo 7 with him.”
Michael whistled. “You were not invested in that relationship.”
He shrugged because he knew he’d been guilty, too. He’d made mistakes. “We weren’t truly compatible, and I never felt a spark with her. But then I’ve never felt a spark with anyone, so I have to wonder if I’m just not that guy.”
Michael offered Hutch a glass and held up his own. “You described my entire relationship with