Stud Muffin (Donner Bakery #2) - Jiffy Kate Page 0,85

realize how much until I was in Cage’s arms. It just felt… right.

“You’re going to get through this,” she whispers, squeezing into the seat beside me. The three of us—me, her, and Matthew—in a group hug. “I’m sure your heart and head are both confused, but it’s all going to be okay. You’ll figure it out and move on, and one of these days, the right man will walk into your life. You’ll see.”

I want to tell her that Cage is that perfect person, but I don’t even know if he’s looking for something that permanent. For all I know, I could just be a casual fuck. He doesn’t seem like the type of person who sleeps around, but do I even know him that well?

Earlier today, when I got to the studio, I walked in on the tail end of a conversation he was having with one of his brothers. I heard him say he’d be home soon.

Stupid me for letting myself fall for someone who has no plans of sticking around.

Stupid me for making something more out of this than it is.

Stupid me for opening my heart up to someone who was just going to walk out… again.

Later, that night, when I’m back in my apartment and lying in bed, trying to sleep, my mind is a black hole I can’t escape. Thoughts of my time with Cage mix and mingle with Anna’s words and my own fears and uncertainty. It’s a horrible combination and keeps me awake most of the night.

When I can’t take it any longer, I grab my phone and think about calling Cage, but that’s when I realize, I don’t even have his phone number.

I had sex with him… three orgasms… and he had his head between my legs, but I don’t even have his telephone number.

Then my thoughts turn to where he is and what he’s doing and the gross, unwelcome feeling creeps over me.

Can I trust him?

Is he screwing other people?

Have I ever even asked him about his past relationships?

What are his plans?

My heart begins to beat rapidly and I have to sit up in bed and take deep breaths. When that doesn’t work to calm my nerves or my mind, I climb out of bed and start going through some Tai Chi movements Cage has taught me. Starting simple, I roll my head to the side and then around in one slow motion before stretching my back as I bend down and touch my toes.

Moving my arms and legs in the fluid motions eventually brings me some peace.

What I’ve loved about this martial art since Cage first started teaching me is that it has purpose and flow. Moving into the single whip, I bring my arms up and out at shoulder height, one hand curved into a beak hand. From there, I move into a white crane, balancing my weight on one leg and then kicking with the other.

Better.

Deep breaths.

Even if Cage is a rebound.

Even if he goes back to Dallas and forgets all about me.

I’ll be okay.

Maybe what Anna was saying is true. Maybe I’m feeling so invested in him and our relationship because I’m craving the closeness. Maybe my feelings for Cage have nothing to do with him and everything to do with me.

There’s a small voice in my head—and a feeling in my heart—telling me I’m wrong and it’s bigger than that. I feel like he came into my life at the right time and that we were meant to meet, and I think we’re good together.

But there was a time when I thought Asher and I were good together.

And I see how that turned out.

When I realize there’s no chance I’m going to get any sleep, I shower again, make a cup of coffee and drink it while I go ahead and dress. I might as well get a head start on the muffins for the day.

**Sm*

It’s almost four when I walk out of my apartment and start walking down the street. Not for the first time since I moved into the apartment and started walking to work, I find myself checking my back, but there’s not a soul out at this time of the morning.

All the lights are out down the block. Cage’s entire building is dark.

Is he losing sleep?

Is he laying there thinking about me?

Do his sheets smell like me… us?

I almost skip the bakery and walk to Cage’s instead, but stop myself. I really do need to get some muffins going and I also