Stud Muffin (Donner Bakery #2) - Jiffy Kate Page 0,100
people have where they’re standing in front of a crowd naked, but there was no crowd… just me and…
Pushing the door open, I could feel the rush of adrenaline and spike of fear. When I stepped into the room, my heart dropped, along with the shoe in my hand, getting the attention of the man who was driving into the woman only seconds before.
The woman smiles at me as the man speaks, “Like what you see?”
Cage.
Bile rises into my throat and I have to force it down. I know my subconscious is playing tricks on me, playing on my fears and insecurities, but the dream was so real. Looking over at Cage, I watch him for a second as he sleeps soundly, his arm draped over my stomach, and I have the worst thought.
How do I know I can trust him?
Unlike Asher, I’ve only known Cage a short amount of time.
Who’s to say he doesn’t have a wife and kids back in Dallas?
I thought I knew Asher. I trusted him with my life and bound myself to him, assuming we’d uphold our vows with only death parting us. And look how that ended up… how terribly wrong I was.
Tears sting my eyes and I press my palms against them to keep them from falling. Feeling dirty and used and so unsure of myself, I can’t stand to lie here any longer.
Slipping out from under Cage’s arm, I ease myself off the bed. I think about showering in his bathroom, but I need some air and I need to think, and I can’t do either when I’m this close to him. He makes me feel things that cloud my judgment.
Maybe that was what was wrong with me and Asher?
Maybe I just latched onto him because he was the first boy to show interest?
What if I’m doing the same thing with Cage?
Anna’s words from a few days ago come back to haunt me. Don’t jump into bed with the first guy that comes along and calls you beautiful.
Am I really that weak and starved for attention?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Filling my lungs with air, I try to put into practice all of my coping mechanism I’ve learned over the past few months, but nothing works. As panic starts to set in, I look frantically around the room. Grabbing my clothes from the floor where they fell as I lost myself in Cage, I quickly put them on, forgoing my shoes.
“Where are you going?” Cage asks, his voice groggy from sleep. My back is to him as my hand grips the frame of the door. Pausing, I try to think of something to say to get him to go back to sleep and just let me leave, but I know that’s a lost cause. He’s too much of a gentleman for that… too nice… too caring. And why is that? What would he want with a girl like me?
“Tempest?”
“I… I just need to go,” I tell him, still not turning around, biting my lip to keep from crying, not from sadness, but pure fear. I’m afraid of myself—of what I’ve done, of how I’ve let myself fall for him, of my ability to make good decisions. Nothing is making sense right now and it’s freaking me out. “I would call you later, but I don’t even have your phone number,” I say, something between a sob and a laugh catching in my throat and that’s when I feel it, that snap in rational thinking. The one I’m always fighting so hard against, but it overtakes me.
“How crazy is that?” I ask, finally turning to face him. “We’ve had sex twice and I don’t even have your telephone number… or know what your favorite food is? Maybe you’re married? Or are a member of the Communist Party?”
Cage rubs his eyes and sits up, the sheet falling away, exposing his amazing torso.
“Cover up,” I tell him, my voice taking on that tone of insanity it’s become accustomed to lately, especially in moments when it feels like my life is falling apart. “I can’t think straight when you’re naked… or when you look at me like that. Actually, I can’t think when you’re around period. It’s like my brain takes a hiatus and hands over the controls to my hormones.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” he asks, still trying to wake up and get his wits about him as he runs a hand through his hair.