Stuck-Up Suit - Vi Keeland Page 0,80
you here, Dad?”
He took a sip then let out a long, slow breath. His expression turned serious. “I’ve been thinking about coming to see you for a while but kept putting it off because I didn’t want to upset you.”
“So, why tonight?”
“It just felt like it was time.”
“Say what you came to say.”
“The day you visited me, you asked me a direct question that I didn’t really know how to answer. You wanted to know whether I would have stayed with your mother had Theresa not loved me back or if perhaps I’d never met her. I wasn’t prepared for that question at the time.”
“You figured out the answer?”
“I’ve thought about it a lot these past several days. The bottom line is, if Theresa hadn’t come along, I do believe there is a very good chance your mother and I would still be married today. It’s hard for me to admit that because I don’t want you to blame Theresa for my actions and personal choices.”
“But you also told me that day that you don’t regret the choices you’ve made, which means you don’t regret hurting us. That’s really hard to accept.”
“No. That’s not what I meant. I love you and do regret hurting you, but I don’t regret falling in love with Theresa.”
“How could you claim to have loved us when you left like you did?”
My father rested his head between his hands before saying, “It’s not that simple. There are different kinds of love, Soraya.”
“The love for your children should come first.”
He closed his eyes as if my words stung then paused before speaking again. “Sometimes life throws you a curveball, something you never saw coming. We have to make decisions about whether we want to be true to ourselves or honorable to those we love. If I’d never met Theresa, I probably would have been perfectly happy with your mother because I wouldn’t have known the difference. But because I did meet her and developed a strong connection to her, I knew what I’d be missing if I let that go. There was no going back.”
“And what exactly did Theresa have that Ma didn’t? Was it purely sexual?”
“Not at all. It’s hard to explain. It’s just a level of chemistry, Soraya, a kind of magnetic attraction between two people that I hadn’t felt with your mother or with anyone before. I could have ignored it. I chose not to. It was selfish. I’m not denying that.”
“But you don’t regret it.”
“There isn’t a single yes or no answer to that question. I regret that you and your sister were hurt by my actions, but I don’t regret following my heart. There would have been regret either way. I chose the selfish route, the one that hurt you the most, and for that, I’m sorry.”
“I don’t know that I could do the same thing if I were in your shoes.”
“Then you’re a better person than me, sweetheart.”
“You just told me that you would still be with my mother today if you hadn’t made a selfish choice. Your children would have avoided years of self-doubt. As an example, I wouldn’t have the trust issues I have with men today. My mother wouldn’t have been nearly hospitalized for depression. You might not have been the most satisfied if you’d stayed, but your family would have been better off.” Tears were starting to saturate my eyes. “So, basically, we suffered the consequences of your actions.”
“And for that, I’m truly sorry, Soraya. That’s what I really came here to say more than anything.”
I just kept nodding silently, trying to process it all. “I don’t know that I’m ready to accept your apology, but I do appreciate it and am glad you came by. I’ve learned a lot from this conversation. I’ve needed guidance lately.”
“Does this have to do with that wealthy man you’re seeing? He gave me quite the dirty look the day he picked you up from my street. He must really care for you. We apparently have a lot in common. Because whether you know it or not, I do love you very much.”
“You know what? You and Graham do have a lot in common, more than you probably realize.” I sniffled.
He’s you, and I’m Theresa now.
Chloe is who I once was.
Before leaving to head home, my father stayed for a second glass of wine. I also put out some that I’d picked up during a trip that Graham and I took to Little Italy.
Things were by no means fixed between