Strung Tight (The Road To Rocktoberfest #1) - Ann Lister Page 0,46
see us perform on the big stage. My own parents had no clue my band was climbing the ladder of success, and even if they did know about Rocktoberfest, they’d never put themselves out to attend the event. I was fine with that. I’d be under enough stress without having them in the audience. I didn’t need that layer of anxiety piled on to everything else I had going on in my life. It would be a miracle if I could get through our set and not face plant on stage from a panic attack. I wasn’t fearful of screwing up our music. I could play that in my sleep. It was standing center stage in front of thousands of people who would all be staring at me and waiting to hear me sing that would have my hands shaking and my knees knocking together.
Writing and playing music was my passion and what I believed I was born to do, which meant I somehow needed to figure out a way to get past this stage-fright. Maybe the day would come when facing a mass of fans wouldn’t faze me. I guess only time would tell. In the meantime, I needed to find my big-boy pants and face my future head on.
Chapter Fifteen
“Fletcher, you’re not focusing,” Dagger pointed out during one of our many rehearsals the following week. The buzz from our successful show at the Apex had long since worn off and was replaced by the daunting prospect of having to entertain a fuck-ton of people at Rocktoberfest. My mind was frayed, and I felt completely off balance. I pressed my fingers into my eye sockets as Dagger started to approach me. “Take ten, everyone,” Dagger instructed, and my band began to scatter like cockroaches.
“I’m having trouble concentrating,” I explained when Dagger was close enough to hear me. “I’ll try harder.”
“Is there something going on that I should know about?” Dagger asked in that fatherly tone that always prompted me to spill my secrets. I only had one secret these days and that was my growing need for a certain roadie I had the hots for, but Dagger already knew about that part of my life.
“Everything is fine.” I slightly lied. “I’ll get my head on straight. Promise.”
Dagger rubbed at his face and studied my expression like he was trying to solve the mystery of the world. “Does your lack of focus have anything to do with Dallas?”
Fuck. I had hoped he wouldn’t go there and ask that particular question, but he had, and now he was waiting for an answer. “I, ah … we’re still seeing each other,” I admitted.
“Okay, so what’s happening with him that’s messing with your head to the point you’re losing your ability to play with your band?” Dagger asked. “Is it the fact he’s a dude and that freaks you out?”
My face flamed with heat from his words, and I chuckled as my gaze dropped to my feet. “That doesn’t bother me,” I admitted. “I’m kind of digging the fact he’s a dude. It’s fucking awesome.” My comments were followed with a knowing grin.
Dagger looked around us to make sure no one could overhear our conversation, and then he leaned in closer to me. “Look, I totally get the thrill behind having a boner for someone new. It’s exciting as hell,” Dagger explained. “Christ, when I first got together with Ryan, I couldn’t keep my thoughts or my hands off of him, but Jesus, you’ve got to find a way to keep your head in the game here. We’re leaving for Nevada in one week, Fletch, to do a show that has the potential to change the trajectory of your career by leaps and bounds. Now is not the time to have your head in the clouds over a new piece of ass.”
“I’m seeing him tonight,” I said and then wished I’d kept my mouth shut.
“Maybe you should wait until after the show so that you can focus on the music this week?” Dagger suggested.
I shook my head. “I have to see him,” I admitted. “He’s the only thing that’s keeping me somewhat calm and sane at the moment.” I ran my fingers through my hair and tugged on the ends. “I feel like I’m being pulled in a hundred different directions right now. Everyone wants something from me, but Dallas just wants … me. I feel so much less stressed after I spend some time with him.”