Stripped Love (Guys Next Door #1) - Baylin Crow Page 0,73
I was on my feet in seconds and stepped onto the front porch just as Archer's dark blue car door popped open. He climbed out wearing yesterday's clothes, and his hair was messier than ever.
The cut grass tickled my bare feet as I crossed my yard and then onto the concrete that had baked in the sun all day. I cursed as the heat seared the soles of my feet. The quick thought I had about grabbing shoes disappeared when he turned to face me.
Archer's deep brown eyes had dark circles beneath them and he just appeared…tired. My stomach sank, and I fought back the anger at myself. I did this. I may not have set the trap we’d fallen into, but I could have prevented it. Hindsight was such a raging bitch.
Despite looking like he'd been through emotional hell, he offered a small smile. "Hi, Phoenix."
"Hey, Arch." My voice was low, as if I'd send him running if I spoke louder. "Can we talk?"
He gave a single nod and shut the car door. "Sure."
Archer followed me to the wooden bench on my front porch that was never used, and we sat under the shade of the porch roof.
I shifted to face him. "I'm sorry about last night. That shouldn't have happened."
He gave no indication how he felt. Just picked at a loose thread on his shorts as he stared out at the grass.
My gaze stayed glued to his profile, searching for any reaction. "I know it looked bad, but it was a trap for both of us. Ai—"
"I know," he whispered, cutting me off.
I didn't blame him, because just thinking his name was enough to renew the anger I'd battled ever since Archer had run out of the club.
Sighing, I propped my elbows on my knees. "Tell me what's going on in the beautiful brain of yours, Arch," I pleaded, itching to reach out and take his hand. But something held me back. Honestly, I was scared he'd pull away, and I wasn't sure my heart would survive that.
He pulled the thread free and flicked it away. "I'm not…mad. I don't know what I am. Confused maybe? I just saw you with him, and when you didn't push him away… It hurt."
My eyes slammed closed, and I shook my head. "Arch, I never ever wanted to hurt you, and it kills me that I did. I wasn't thinking. That sounds like such an excuse, but it's the truth.
"The only thing I was worried about was just getting through it and keeping my job. I was already pissed at Desi for booking us together and then at him for the handcuffs he hooked on my wrist, without my permission. I just wanted to be done with that fucking party," I swore, biting my tongue from saying more because his shoulders had tensed.
"I believe you." He nodded, surprising me. "And I saw the handcuffs. I know how your job works and what I signed up for. I was okay with the dancing, mostly. But after last night… I just don't know anything right now." He hung his head, and his hands grabbed at the strands before he tilted his head to look at me and gave me a helpless shrug. "I'm a mess. I didn't think I was that insecure."
I quickly shook my head. "That doesn't make you insecure. People are different. Plenty of the guys up there are in healthy relationships, but others have had relationships end badly because of it. Some won't date at all to avoid issues. There isn't a rule. What works for some, won't for others. And it doesn't work for you."
His lips rolled together, and his gaze dropped to the porch before he sniffed. "Maybe. But that means…that we…"
This time, I didn't hesitate to pull his hand from his hair and grip it tight. "I quit last night, Arch, so don't even say it."
His gaze flicked to mine, wide and panicked. "What? Why?"
My brow rose. That wasn't exactly the reaction I'd expected. "Well, for one, my boss didn't take my warnings seriously, and that doesn't work for me. I should have left before last night happened. Even if you weren't in the picture, I would have quit, eventually. But you are in the picture. You're the picture. And I only want my boyfriend's hands on me. That's not one-sided, Arch. It doesn't work for you, but it also doesn't work for me."