motion roll, turning his head, his mouth open. Elena was on the couch in a funny position, her dress up to her thighs, gleaming in the darkness. Was she sick? Why was Da bent over her that way?
“Out!” Delia shouted at us.
But of course we didn’t go out. We hovered just outside the door, which was still open a crack. We heard every word.
“Delia, for God’s sake, turn around. We’re decent.”
“How dare you fornicate in your own home with your children outside!”
“They were at the movies!”
“Mother of God, Jimmy… this sin, right in your home, with the children —”
“Delia, could you please try not to drag God into this, I beg you. Or His mother.”
“I’d better be going, Mac.” Elena’s voice was soft.
“Yes, indeed,” Delia said. “You’d better go, and not come back.”
“Delia. Dee. I love her. We’re in love.”
The silence lasted for a full minute.
When Delia spoke, it was in a voice short of breath. “You can’t be serious. You can’t be in love with a black woman.”
We stared at each other, wide-eyed. Da in love with Elena? How had this gone on, underneath our noses? We all loved her, sure, but—
Delia laughed. It chilled us and we huddled closer.
“What do you think is going to happen to the two of you? Use your head! For once, Jimmy, look ahead. You never took a step on your own, I know that — never took a job that somebody didn’t walk over to offer you, never passed up an opportunity as long as it tapped on your shoulder. You never stretched for anything in your life! Don’t you think I knew what I was doing when I put Maggie in front of you? She was the first pretty girl who was too nice to say no to you, so you decided you loved her. And now, this one — how like you it is, to fall for someone who’s right next door. You’ve taken every easy chance, why not this one?”
“That’s enough. Did you hear what I said? I love her.”
“Love! It happens to you, so what? It happens to everybody. It’s what you do with it that matters! You can live it or you can put it away, and you can pray to Jesus to help you either way.”
“It’s not that simple, you can’t make it that simple. Love is a gift.”
“Oh, don’t be such a child! How long do I have to take care of you and your children? You lived off them and you’ve lived off me. You’ve never stood on your feet —”
“Dee, don’t go on, I’m begging you. This isn’t you. What’s happened to you?”
“You killed your wife by not wanting to pay a doctor, by waiting so long —”
“Delia!” He shouted the word. It had been going on for some time, but now we realized that underneath the shouting, Elena was crying.
“I gave up my life for this family,” Delia said. “I’ve been mother to these children, and I walk in and see you like this…. I don’t care if you go to hell, Jimmy, but I won’t let your children fall into sin!”
“Sin! You’re standing there talking to me about sin?”
Muddie put her hands over her ears. She could never bear a cross word, our Muddie. Jamie and I looked at each other, our mouths open and working like fish out of water. We didn’t live in a world where grown-ups said the worst things they could to each other. We lived in a house where there were undertows, things we didn’t understand, and jokes and stories passing for truth.
“At least I’m not afraid to walk into God’s house!”
“Get out! Get out of my house!”
“I pay for this house, too! This is my house as much as yours, and they’re my children as much as yours, no matter what the law says. And if the law knew about what you do in front of your children —”
“Get out. Get out right now.”
“I’m leaving, but I’m coming back, Jimmy. I’m coming back for the children.”
All the air seemed to leave the front stoop. I stared at Jamie. Muddie’s face was screwed up tight, her eyes closed, tears dripping into her collar.
Now Da’s voice was low and dangerous. “Don’t threaten me with that. They’re my children. They’ve never been yours. They never will be.”
It was so quiet. Even Elena’s sobs could no longer be heard. When we opened the door Da and Delia were standing opposite each other, enemies.