hurried toward Billy and Jamie. “We can go,” I said. “Is it still raining outside?”
“You don’t want to leave your boyfriend, do you?” Billy asked sulkily.
“C’mon, guys,” Jamie said. “If we don’t leave soon, we’ll have to build an ark.”
Billy pushed past us and stalked back toward the rear exit. Jamie started after him, but Billy kept going, slamming out the outer door. I saw him for one moment illuminated against the neon and the glitter of rain.
“Go,” I said to Jamie. “I have to tell Sammy I’m leaving.” It was a few minutes before my shift was over, but I quickly went for my coat and signaled I was going. Sammy beckoned to me but I pretended I didn’t see him. Probably asking me to stick around, but he’d forgive me if I left.
The rain slapped my cheeks as I opened the door. At first I didn’t understand what I was seeing and hearing, the crunch and squeal of metal, the shattering glass. Billy was in his car and had rammed into a yellow Cadillac with New York plates. He backed up and then floored the accelerator, ramming into it again.
I ran across the parking lot. Jamie was soon at my side.
Billy’s car stopped. He slumped over the steering wheel. I ran toward him, afraid he was hurt.
The car door opened and he slowly got out. Then he fell to his knees.
“Billy …” I ran forward, holding him up by the shoulders. “What are you doing? Are you crazy?”
He shook me off and I stumbled and almost fell. He wasn’t hurt. He stood up again and lifted his face to the sky, his eyes closed. With all the rain, I couldn’t tell if he was crying. His white shirt was plastered to his chest. My heart ached to see the pain on his face. “Billy …” I whispered his name and the sound was swallowed up by the drumming of the rain on the hood.
Suddenly, he slammed his fist into his car. I cried out. He could have broken his hand.
Jamie put his arms around him from behind and held him fast. “You’ve got to stop it now, Billy,” he said. “Billy, do you hear me?” Jamie tightened his hold and rested his forehead against Billy’s back, restraining him. “It’s all right. It’s all right.”
“It’s not all right!” I yelled, pulling back. “Look at Jeff’s car! What are you doing?”
“What were you doing?” Billy spat back at me. “My job!”
“What — did he pay you extra for that kiss, or did you just throw it in for free? Do you know what you looked like in there?”
I could see the murder in his eyes. That rage. It wasn’t surprising me anymore. There was no way around it. At this moment, he hated me. When he got angry, he couldn’t even see me anymore. He saw a different girl, a girl who was deliberately grinding his heart into the ground.
“I can’t take this anymore!” I had to shout the words over the rain and wind.
“You?” He laughed. “You can’t take it?”
“Do you think I could ever marry you, stay with someone like you?” I asked him. “Why do you keep doing this to us? What is wrong with you?”
I saw him register the shock of the question. He smiled at me, an empty smile. “Everything, I guess.”
“I never want to see you again,” I said. “This time it’s over. I’m afraid of you!”
He pushed out of Jamie’s grip and fell back against the car, his wet hair in his eyes. “That makes two of us,” he said.
I almost went to him then; I even took a step forward. But just then, Jeff Toland displayed the worst timing of his career by coming out of the back door, fumbling with an umbrella, and splashing right into a puddle.
Billy looked over at him and I saw the change in his face, how the fury came roaring back. Now he had something to fight that would fight back. I saw it all, but my reflexes let me down. Before I could stop him, he pushed away from the car and raced toward Jeff.
Jeff looked up, the umbrella half open, as Billy’s fist connected. The blow was so hard I heard it, the sickening sound of the sudden rearrangement of bone. Jeff fell back. I heard the thwack of his head against the concrete.
Jamie and I ran. Jamie grabbed Billy while I knelt over Jeff. His eyes were closed. His skin looked so white.