Stray Fears - Gregory Ashe Page 0,83

his other arm around my neck, a loose hold that he could tighten if he needed to.

“I asked you a question,” he said, pulling hard with his arm and cutting off my air. “I’ve enjoyed a taste here or there, of course. But I’ve been wondering for so long. Is this what it was like with him on top of you? Is this what it was like, when you couldn’t move, when you couldn’t do anything but lie there, while I sent your brother from room to room with a gun in his hand? When I saw him the first time, I knew he’d be perfect, but you—you were a bonus.”

He held me until stars spun in my vision, and then he loosened his grip. I sucked in air through my nose, every breath with that fried catfish smell. Tears stung my eyes. I hadn’t known, I wanted to say. I hadn’t known. I hadn’t known what Gard was doing, I hadn’t known what was happening. I hadn’t known anything. It didn’t matter, though. Since the minute I’d walked out of my bedroom and found them, since the minute I’d learned what had happened while some bozo I’d picked up at the club fucked me, it had been my fault. I’d heard a weird noise, hadn’t I? I’d heard that noise, and I hadn’t gone to check, hadn’t gone to see what was happening. I’d been too fucking selfish. Literally.

“That’s right,” Richard said, mouthing along my neck between words. “God, you’re delicious. All that self-hate. All that guilt.” He bit directly over where he’d injected me, and his teeth broke skin, the mark of his mouth cold and burning. His tongue laved blood from my neck. “You heard a noise,” he whispered. “You could have gone and looked. You could have checked. Maybe you couldn’t have saved all of them, but you might have saved one.”

He rocked into me slightly. His tongue ran over the wound, the cold blaze burning brighter. Venom, I thought from a distance. Maybe it would burn all the way through me. Maybe I could die like this, not feeling anything except polar fire.

“Go ahead,” he said, and for a moment, I thought he was giving me permission. Then Muriel bent and slashed her claws along Dag’s leg.

He screamed.

I couldn’t help it: I bucked, trying to throw off Richard, kicking wildly, hands sliding through the puddled wine. With that same irresistible strength, he yanked my head back and bore down until fireworks exploded across my vision and I went limp.

Static hissed in my ears.

Then the static faded. My vision cleared.

“Good,” he said. “You’re back. Was it like that? Is it the same?”

I could hear my own breathing—I was trying to suck air through my nose, but I couldn’t seem to get enough. Catfish. Fried catfish. The weight on top of me. The hand over my mouth. The pressure at my neck. The pressure building in my head. His weight as he rocked against me. He wasn’t fucking me, not yet, but he was hard. I thought that would come later. Some clear-thinking part of me understood that would come at the end, when they made me watch Dag die.

Richard bit hard where my neck joined my shoulder. This time, the cold fire was worse, spreading through my shoulder and chest. I shouted, struggling again, and this time he let me squirm and thrash. His tongue lapped at the blood.

“Again,” Richard said.

Muriel dragged her claws down Dag’s arm, and he howled and tried to move, but I saw now that she had pinned him to the tile, her other set of claws transfixing his shoulder. Suddenly he jerked and went still.

This time, I almost got Richard off me. I bucked and rolled. My hands splashed across the tile. My fingertips brushed something and sent it rolling. I got an elbow in Richard’s side, and he growled as he yanked back again, and my vision imploded.

The next time I came back, I heard sirens.

Richard was breathing rapidly. I knew the sound. I knew the jingle of his belt buckle. Then one hand was at my jeans, fiddling, and I tried to get free again, but he had me pinned.

If Dag was dead because of me.

“That’s right,” Richard said, desire making his voice rough. His teeth punctured my other shoulder this time; the venom, if that’s what it was, made my chest feel like it was locking up. “You’re going to watch him die. Helpless. Held down. Fucked. And