Stray Fears - Gregory Ashe Page 0,38
could come like this, I’m about to come just like this, but I want it to be more than that. Please?”
“Elien, stop. Hey. Stop!”
It was hard to pull my hand away, but I managed to slide my grip up to his hips and force him off my lap. For a moment, he stood there, his face twisted with anger. And then he walked out of the room.
He wasn’t the only one who’d been right at the brink. I thought about the Saints. I thought about pass-completion percentages. But then I started thinking about Elien in nothing but football pads.
“It’s just a fuck,” Elien said, marching back into the room. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s just a fuck. I think you’re hot. I want you to fuck me. I’m hard for the first time in a fucking year, and I want you to drill me, and we both practically died out there. It’s a fucking biological reaction, ok? It’s a survival-mode fuck. So get off your high horse and let’s go upstairs and you can fuck me.”
I managed to get out of the buttery—there it was again, that word—couch’s embrace. I gave Elien a smile and one-sided shrug.
“Sorry. It’s not personal.”
“It definitely is personal.”
“I really appreciate the interest, but I think I should pass.”
“Am I not being clear? Am I not speaking loudly enough? Go upstairs. We are going to fuck.”
“Probably a bad time to ask,” I said, “but do you think you could help me to my car?”
Elien screamed.
“Ok,” I said. “I’ll make it on my own.”
“No,” he said, moving into my path. “Absolutely not. Give me one good reason. I know you’re attracted to me. Is it because you’re in too much pain? Is it because you’re all sliced up and you need stitches?”
“It’s definitely not helping.”
“Are you worried I’m crazy and I’ll get clingy?”
“Well, I am now. Just a little bit.”
“I have a boyfriend.”
“Yeah, that was one of the big hang-ups for me.”
Crossing his arms, Elien said, “It’s an open relationship. I can fuck whoever I want. There, now that your conscience has been soothed—”
He reached for my arm, and I angled my body away.
“What the actual fuck?” he asked, his eyes wide.
“You seem like a very nice guy—”
“No, I don’t. Don’t give me that. I don’t seem like a nice guy right now. I’m an asshole, I know I’m an asshole. I know I’m being a total shit to you, and you’re hurt, and you saved my life, and I just want—” Elien took a breath. “Let’s start over. You sit back down. I’ll make you a drink. We’ll just talk for a little bit.”
“Elien, it’s ok. We all strike out every once in a while. And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. I think you’re a really good guy, I promise.”
“This is crazy. You’re crazy. You hit your head when you fell, and you have a concussion.”
The house creaked around us.
The poor guy looked so confused I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.
“So,” I said, “I’m still bleeding and only have half a shirt. I think I’m going to go.”
“No.”
“Elien.”
“No, just—” He seemed like he couldn’t quite connect the words. “Just sit down and I’ll bandage you.”
“That’s probably not a good—”
He pointed a finger at me.
“Ok,” I said, raising my good arm in surrender. “I can sit down.”
The gauze rasped between his hands as he unrolled it. His fingers were soft and cool against my chest.
“You’ve got a thing for older guys,” Elien said quietly.
“Not really.”
“It’s bears. You’re only into bears.”
I laughed and then winced.
“Well, come on,” Elien said, and his face softened as he grinned suddenly. His gaze stayed on the tape and gauze. “I just humiliated myself. You can at least tell me why.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“It’ll make you feel better?”
“Just don’t tell me it’s because I’m fat. I know I’ve gotten tubby; I don’t need any more reminders.”
“Uh, is that a joke?”
“No. Trust me: I did not used to be disgusting like this.”
I tried to think about how to answer that, but his hand kept brushing the trail of hair low on my belly, and it was like someone playing with the switch on a live wire. The words escaped before I could stop them.
“I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”
“Oh.” His hands stopped. “Um. Thanks.”
“Number one is because you’ve got a boyfriend.”
“I told you—”
“I know, but it’s still a big deal for me. I’m not into that.”
Elien nodded as he pressed more tape into place.
“Number two is—hey, watch it.”
His hand