down. I told him I’d come get you and help bus tables for free for the rest of your shift.”
“I’m sure he liked that.”
“Yes, he did.” Cork threw his arm around me. “Everything’s going to get better, Lotus. Really better. For both of us, I believe.”
Nodding, I sank into him, hoping he was right.
After talking to Journey, I felt lighter than I had in a long time. Almost as good as I did when Storm had been around, and I’d shared with him.
Maybe my birthday wish was starting to come true, only without Storm coming home.
Lotus
CORK AND I stopped at Mike’s Tacos on the way home. We both got California burritos with barbacoa steak, chipotle mayo, veggies, the works, plus French fries. Gripping the ends wrapped in wax paper, we ate our burritos quickly as we walked.
Exhausted and starving, I didn’t even slow down to look at the clothes displayed in the shop windows. I couldn’t afford new clothing, and honestly, I didn’t really need any. I just wanted to get home so I could shower and put my feet up.
“So, you and Journey?” Cork threw his empty burrito wrapper into a trash receptacle near the crosswalk and gave me a look.
“There’s no we with him,” I said, disappointment burning in my chest. “He doesn’t do relationships.” If long term was even an option with Journey, I’d take him up on the offer to be in his bed tonight in a heartbeat.
“Who told you that?” Cork asked, glancing at me as we left Newport Avenue behind and turned onto Sunset Cliffs Boulevard.
“He did.” Sighing, I told my brother the truth. “Before and after I slept with him.”
“Sometimes people don’t mean what they say. A lot of the time, if they say it more than once with a lot of emotion, they mean the opposite.” Cork’s brow scrunched beneath his messy post-surfing hair. “Actions often speak louder than repeated words.”
“I don’t think that’s the case with Journey.” After all, my wanting something to be so didn’t make it reality. “He’s pretty straightforward. His name is how he operates. He prefers to have what he wants for a moment and then to journey on.”
On the sidewalk, I stopped underneath the shadowy gray-brown-streaked boughs of a jacaranda tree.
“I know you like him,” I said. “I like him too. We’re friends. But friends is all we’ll ever be.” Again, I registered that hot stabbing burn of disappointment.
“Okay, Lotus,” Cork said softly. “But I want you to consider that you can’t have something unless you reach for it.”
But I had reached. In LA, I’d gone out on a limb, let loose, and everything had come crashing down because of it. I didn’t know yet if I was brave enough to take a chance, another chance, like I had before with Journey.
“What about you?” I asked Cork. It was time to turn the conversation around to him. “You reached and got for what you reached for.”
“Yeah.” Giving me a sheepish look, he rubbed the back of his neck.
“You’re in a band.” My brows rose. “Your favorite band. Not as a fan, but as a member. Was that something you’d thought about doing before today?”
“I’d considered it,” he said. “Only I never talked about it because I didn’t think it was remotely possible. Not ever on drums, of course. Shield is awesome. But I’d wondered about the bassist position, hoped maybe if it ever opened up that I would get an opportunity to show what I can do.”
“You were incredible on bass, standing up on that stage in front of all of those people,” I said sincerely. Swallowing, I gulped down the acrid wave of fear that rose to coat the back of my throat. “I was so proud of you.”
“Thank you, but it’s not so difficult to be good with the caliber of talent in OB Hardy.” Within the arc of light from a nearby streetlight, Cork gave me a searching look. “So, you’re not going to argue with me about signing the contract?”
“No.” I shook my head. “If this is what you want, I support you.”
His brows rose. “You’ll have to cosign as my guardian.”
“I know.”
“You’re worried.” He tilted his head. “I can hear it in your voice, see it in your eyes.”
“I have concerns.” Losing him permanently if something went wrong was my biggest one. “But I’m not concerned because I don’t believe in you. I want you to have the life you want. The best life you can have. So, we’ll figure out