“If we’re over now, I understand. But I had to tell you. It didn’t feel right keeping a secret that big from you, even though I feel like I wanna throw up right now. I know any relationship, even a newly rebooted one, can’t succeed if someone is holding back something big like that.”
“Stop, Lotus.” Saber unclipped his guitar, set it in a stand, and gathered my fluttering hands in his, stilling them. “You didn’t lie to me. It’s my bad that I gave that son of a bitch an opening. Not surprised he took it. Any guy offered a chance with you would take it. I don’t want to break up, but it’s starting to worry me that every time something goes wrong with us, you assume breaking up is our only option.”
“Maybe because I expect you to break up with me.” My brow creased. “I messed up, isn’t that a reasonable expectation?” My mom left, and Storm, and my dad. Everyone left me eventually.
“If we have problems, we’ll work on them.” Saber stared down the length of his nose at me. “We’re in a relationship. I have expectations, sure, and right now I’m disappointed and upset that one of my expectations wasn’t met, but I’m not perfect and I don’t expect you to be either.”
“Okay,” I said softly. I liked his words, but I felt bad being on the receiving end of his disappointment.
“You’re the best thing that’s happened to me next to this record deal. This new development is going to take some time and effort to get past, knowing it’s Journey. But if you say it’s truly over . . .” Saber’s brown eyes narrowed as they searched mine.
“It’s over.” I swallowed hard, thinking about Journey and knowing I’d sent him straight to Tess. “Definitely over.”
“Okay.” Saber gave me a curt nod. “No more surfing or hanging out with him like you did today.”
“I told him the same thing.”
“It’s for the best.”
“I told him that too.” It took effort, but I managed to keep disappointment from my tone.
“I appreciate your honesty. It’s one of the many things I like about you.”
“Thank you, Saber.”
Like, he’d said, not love. And he’d said I was the next best thing, after the record deal. Had anything changed between us?
“You and I work, Lotus.” He pulled me into him, and I placed my hands on his hard chest. “We’ll get through this.”
Saber and I worked being together, just not spectacularly. But spectacular wasn’t obtainable. Not beyond a transcendent moment during a one-night stand, or wonderful beyond a day-long break from my reality.
I needed to settle for sustainable. For someone who stayed.
And that was Saber, not a man named Journey.
Storm
A TEXT MESSAGE hit my phone.
Saber: At the Deck Bar with Lotus. Come by. I need to talk to you.
I headed there rather than the studio, knowing he wanted to make a point about me publicly in front of her and whoever else. Understanding that, I dialed Tess’s number to change our previous plans.
“Hello,” Tess said, answering after one ring.
“Hey, darlin’. Change of plans. Can you meet me for dinner a little earlier?”
“Sure. Where?”
“The Deck Bar.”
“Oh, okay. I was just getting off my shift.” She sounded disappointed.
Working there, she was probably sick of the place. I felt bad about not treating her to dinner someplace different, but not that bad. Saber was putting me on the spot. It couldn’t be helped.
“I’m heading there now on foot,” I said. “It’s probably a ten- or fifteen-minute walk for me. Can you hang back? Wait for me?”
“Yeah,” she said. “I’ll freshen up in the employee lounge, then meet you downstairs.”
“Sounds good,” I said and ended the call.
It was better than good. Saber would dial back his public message when he saw me with Tess, but I had a strong feeling my arrival with her would have a different effect on Lotus. In fact, I was counting on it.
I didn’t like her blowing me off.
I quickened my pace, though I didn’t fail to note the spectacular orange, pink, and gold of the sunset. The colors intensified during my walk and were even prettier over the blue water.
Following the sidewalk around the OB Hotel, I saw Tess standing in front of the Deck Bar. Her blond hair was loose, and the offshore breeze blew it back over her slender shoulders. She was prettier with I remembered with her hair down.