Journeys in favor of going back to their homes and their abusive situations.
That was always difficult. Wanting so much to help another woman lift herself out of a terrible situation, knowing there were times nothing could be done. An adult had to make her own decisions. Nobody could make them for her, even if it would be in her best interest.
And sometimes she made the wrong decision. Marilyn knew that first-hand. She’d stayed with Jared much longer than she should’ve.
And Jared was what had her awake now in the middle of the night staring up at the ceiling.
It had been a week of difficult nights since she’d gotten word of his attempt to appeal the judge’s bail ruling. She hadn’t heard anything else, which had to be a good thing. They were supposed to alert her right away if he made bail.
She turned from her back to her side, grabbing a second pillow and wrapping an arm around it in hopes of making herself more comfortable. She wasn’t going to think about Jared anymore, not until she had to. She’d given him too much of her life already.
She’d think about Noah instead. Run over her training and everything she’d learned in the last four months.
Don’t get hit. Fight to win, not to defend. There’s no such thing as a dirty fight.
She could visualize herself doing the combination moves. After literally hundreds of times practicing each one, her body remembered what every single move felt like. Remembered what it felt like to catch Noah on the jaw.
Remembered what it felt like to press her body up against his while sitting on the kitchen counter. The feel of his lips, his tongue.
To want.
There hadn’t been any more kisses since then. She’d been busy here at New Journeys. Two moms with infants, and three single women had joined them, making Marilyn’s job much more hectic. She’d only made it out for training twice, and both times she’d had the kids with her.
Lots of fun and laughter and talking… but no kissing. Which was probably good.
Who was she kidding? She would gladly spend all day, every day kissing Noah Dempsey if she could. But that wasn't exactly fair to him, was it? To kiss, never knowing if she’d be ready for anything more.
Was she ever going to be ready? That was the real question.
Some days the answer was a resounding yes. All she wanted to do was drive over to the ranch and tell Noah she wanted him. That was all she would have to do—just let him know she was ready and he would take over from there. Would he kiss her until she was squirming like she had been on the kitchen counter? Would he take her into the bedroom and make her squirm a lot more?
She pulled the pillow tighter against her body. She wanted that squirming. She wanted that thrill rushing through her veins. That heat that had been unfreezing more and more of her.
She wanted to burn.
But some days it was the opposite. Not that she didn't want Noah, but she was much more realistic. How could they ever truly have a future together? How would he even bear to be around her at all once he knew the truth?
Because her only option was to tell him the truth and watch that desire fade from his eyes or lie to him. She didn’t want that. She'd been a coward, but she'd never been a liar.
But even knowing the chances of their relationship blooming into anything else was slim, she'd still contacted the lawyer again this week to see how to get the divorce proceedings sped up. She wanted every possible tie to Jared cut. That needed to happen regardless of how things went with Noah.
It wasn't like she—
Her thoughts were cut off by the blaring of the fire alarm. She bolted out of bed, slipping on her sandals, and grabbing a sweater, wrapping it over her T-shirt and pajama bottoms.
As she made it into the kitchen, both kids stumbled out of the room with their hands over their ears.
"Mama, I don't like that noise," Eva yelled. "What is it?"
Marilyn pulled her in for a super quick hug. “It's the smoke alarm. It's probably a malfunction but I need to go check it out. Grab shoes, put Tromsø on the leash, and stay right behind me.”
They went into the main section of the building. Doors were already opening, women sticking their heads out to try to discover what was going