that you have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“I know.” But she flinched, she couldn’t help it.
“I mean it. I don’t expect anything. We’re figuring this out as we go, and it’s okay for you to change your mind at any point. Okay? I don’t want you to be afraid of me. Of being close.”
“I’m not. I’ve never been afraid of you. I promise.”
He reached up and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. She didn’t even want to think about how she must look. “I know we’ve talked about some of Jared’s favorite violent moves so you would know how to best counter them. But we’ve never talked about whether he… Whether the violence extended into the bedroom.”
Oh God, how was she supposed to answer that question? Had Jared actually ever hurt her in the bedroom? Hit her? Raped her?
No. But the other—
Her brain immediately shut it down. She couldn’t think about that. Couldn’t even fathom what Noah’s opinion of her would be if he knew the truth. What she’d allowed.
“No. He never raped me. For the last few years, he wasn’t even interested in me that way at all.” She looked away. There was so much she wasn’t telling him.
He knew it too. When he gently grabbed her chin between his thumb and finger to bring her gaze back to him, she could hardly bear it. There was so much concern in his eyes.
“I promise I’m telling the truth. Jared didn’t rape me.”
Noah’s green eyes narrowed. “Regardless, with me—with us—all it takes is one word and we’ll stop. At any point, for any reason.”
She leaned her forehead against his chest, partially because she couldn’t stand to meet his eyes any more, but mostly because it felt so good. He felt so good. All that strength being used to help her, protect her.
“Thank you,” she whispered as she finally looked up at him. “For being so understanding. For the sessions. The sparring. All of it. You haven’t scared me. Just the opposite, in fact.”
He kissed her again, just as gentle as before, his large hands cupping her face, lips soft on hers.
But it wasn’t long before the kiss became deeper, more consuming. His tongue found hers, dueled, played, teased. She gave herself over to the sensation. The sweetness of it. Her thoughts slowed as a heavy warm feeling filled her like honey.
It wouldn’t take much to get addicted to it.
She wasn’t sure how long they kissed. When he picked her up and set her on the counter so they could get closer to each other, she let out a soft moan at the feel of him pressed against her.
“I thought you catching me with that left hook was the sexiest thing ever,” he said against her lips. “But that sound you just made definitely tops the list.”
She smiled, slid her fingers into his hair, and pulled him closer.
There were no dogs to break them apart this time, but eventually, they stopped. She had responsibilities back at home and had already been away too long.
And she wasn’t ready. Not yet.
“I should get going.” She studied him to look for any hints of frustration, despite what he’d assured her of earlier.
But there were none. He leaned forward and kissed her on the tip of her nose before helping her down from the counter.
“You’re welcome here any time. For the punching bag, to use me as the punching bag,” he touched his jaw again and winked, “or for kisses.”
“You’re sure? I’m not trying to be a tease.”
“If you’re not trying to be a tease, then hit me harder next time.”
10
It was a quiet sort of night. Peaceful. Evening sounds from here on his front porch swing were sweet music to Noah’s ears. The singing of crickets, howls from far-off coyotes. That could be a lonesome sound when a man was in a lonesome sort of mood.
That wasn’t him tonight. Not after what had happened with Marilyn today.
He wasn’t sure what it said about him exactly that a solid punch to the chin was what had galvanized him into kissing Marilyn. Probably what his mother had been saying about him his whole life—he was hard-headed.
There were two things he knew for sure as he sat out on this ranch that had become such a part of him.
One, he could’ve spent the rest of his life kissing Marilyn Ellis. He’d been no saint, especially in his younger years, and had known his fair share of kisses. But none had been