goodbye, did he? Well, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
What the hell could I do? Confront him and watch him try to lie his way out of a confession? As an actor, he’d likely put on an Academy Award worthy performance, but I couldn’t deny the evidence. Travis meant too much to me.
He might soon hate me, but I was still his husband, and when morning came, I’d do what I had to do—as his husband.
Travis slept on, clad in boxer shorts and socks, nothing else. I curled up next to him on the bed. He trembled when I slipped an arm around him, then sighed and placed his head on my shoulder.
I held him tightly, determined to be the anchor I’d failed to be for all those years. Depression. He suffered from depression. Of course he’s depressed, he threw away a great life, didn’t he? The lawyer in me searched for both sides of the story. Maybe depression wasn’t the result of him leaving me. What if he’d left because he’d been depressed? And illness hadn’t been ruled out entirely either. He needed help. He needed my help.
I turned off the lamp and lay in the dark, racking my brain for clues. When Bob had left for college, Travis had moped around for days, totally lost. Me? I’d missed him, too, but work kept me busy enough, and I’d eagerly increased my case load, leaving early in the morning and coming back late, sometimes after Travis fell asleep.
Questions needed answers, answers I might not get from my former love. But whatever went on in his life, someone else knew. Elise. I needed to talk to Travis’s sister, for the first time since she’d called me an unmitigated ass and hung up on me two years ago, cutting “Uncle Ian” out of her children’s lives.
A steady ticking led my eyes to the bedside clock. Four AM.
Last I’d heard, Elise still worked nights. Well, if she was asleep, I’d have to apologize, because I needed information. But if she saw my number on her phone, she might not answer. Maybe I should call the front desk of the hotel where she worked.
I slipped into the bathroom and took my chances with her cell. An angry woman growled after the second ring, “What the hell do you want?” Yes, I’d dialed the right number, and yes, I’d found Elise.
“Elise, yesterday I would be in your face, asking what right you had to talk to me like that, but as it is, I need your help. It’s Travis.”
“Oh my God! Is he okay, he didn’t…” Her words broke off on a sob.
“No, he’s fine, for the moment. Now, I need information. Knowing how close you two are, don’t lie to me. The last time we talked you called me an ass. Exactly what kind of ass am I?”
No growling now, but snarling. “You son-of-a-bitch. After all you did to him, you need to ask?”
“Elise, please believe me, if I knew I wouldn’t be asking.” If anyone else had the facts I sought, I’d have hung up on her. No one else came to mind.
“Then why wouldn’t you talk to him?”
What? “What do you mean? We spoke every day, up until he walked out on me while I was at work.”
A long pause followed. When Elise replied she no longer yelled. “He was having a very hard time adjusting to Bob moving out. Several times you made plans to spend the day with him, or go out, and each time, you’d get a phone call and disappear. You left early, came home late, never even bothered to let him know. Without Bob, he spent most of his days alone.” She laughed, a hollow sound missing any humor. “I suppose I should thank you for all the lovely meals he sent to me and the kids when you didn’t show up in time to eat them.”
Holy shit. We had stopped going out. I couldn’t for the life of me recall a time after Bob left for college that Travis and I went out dining and dancing. There’d been a few office parties. I’d chat with clients while Travis spent his time catching up with my coworkers and their spouses.
During my and Travis’s last year together two of my partners had both left their wives for younger women. Fuck! Working late, not going out, and neglecting my husband. Tiny teeth went to work behind my breastbone. “Travis thought I was cheating.”