coming up. He didn’t remember sleeping last night, just jumping up several times, fully awake. The Turtle hadn’t come yet.

Catell didn’t worry about the way he felt. He didn’t think about the why, the how, or any of those things when it came to the state he was in. He didn’t worry about the way Lily might feel, either. For all he knew, she hated his guts. For all he knew, she’d been doing daisy chains since she was ten. He didn’t give a damn. He wanted Lily now, without question and without thought of consequence.

He put on his jacket. When his right hand came through the armhole he winced at the strange feeling in his hand The sharp pain of yesterday had gone, but there was an unpleasant dull pressure around the old cut. Catell looked at it and wondered at the pulpy, dry hole in his skin.

According to the old janitor at the Pink Shell, Lily lived in an apartment in Westwood. Catell took the bus down Wilshire, got out at the Village, and walked the rest of the way. He didn’t remember ever feeling like this before, except perhaps that first time he ever did anything big. He had been fifteen and Joe Lenkovitch had promised him fifty bucks. Just jump in the car, drive it to the garage under the store where Lenkovitch had a paint shop, and collect the fifty bucks. When he’d first started the motor of the stolen car, he’d felt excited, crazy. The feeling stayed with him all the time he drove through town, wound around dark streets, and then pulled down the drive into the basement garage. He was so hopped up when he delivered it that he walked out without even asking Lenny for the fifty bucks.

There was a short hill up to the apartment house where Lily lived, and Catell felt winded when he reached the building. He was still breathing hard when she opened the door.

“I came to see you, Lily,” he said.

She stood by the door with that open look on her face, showing nothing one way or the other. But Catell wasn’t studying her face. She was standing in front of the light that came through the large glass doors of the sun porch, and there was nothing vague about the rest of her. Her shorts just reached the curve of her thighs. She was wearing a man’s white shirt, the tails tied in a knot at her midriff, the folds of the material stretching up and over her breasts. When she finally moved, Catell saw she was naked under the shirt.

“I don’t think you should come in, Tony,” she said.

“Try and stop me.”

“Tony, it isn’t safe. I don’t think—” Catell put his hand on the doorknob and slammed the door open. Then he stepped inside and pushed the door closed behind him. The spring lock clicked.

“Tony, he has a key. Topper has a key.”

Catell ran his hands up and down Lily’s arms, stroking gently.

“I hurt you last night?”

“A little.”

“I’ll make it up to you, Lily.”

She didn’t answer him, standing still under his moving hands. There was a short distance between them, just enough so he could not feel the touch of her breath. She stood quietly, only moving her tongue once, to moisten her parted lips. She breathed more deeply, never moving. Then Catell stepped back; his voice sounded squeezed when he said, “Like the first time, Lily. Go ahead.”

She unbuttoned the front of the shirt, untied the knot. The thing fell to the floor. When she reached around to pull the zipper on the side of her shorts, Catell watched how her arm pushed the breasts together.

Then Lily was naked.

Catell curled his fingernails into his palms, trying to kill the tingling. One more second, he thought, one more second. Just reach out there, and then…Now there was a smile on Lily’s face. Clearly, no question about Lily any more.

Her eyes widened, staring, and she moved as if to hide herself. Catell reached forward, lunging, and the world jarred with a screeching, searing flame of red that weaved, burst, and then sank sharply into itself, leaving nothing but a total dead black.

“I don’t like this, Topper. I think you’re making a mistake.”

“I’m not asking you to think. Just drive this car and shut up.”

“Boss, listen, I ain’t never butted into your business before, but—”

“So don’t start now, Nick. I’m warning you to shut up.”

Nick didn’t say any more. He concentrated on driving the car through