Stop This Man! by Peter Rabe

this minute.”

“Don’t kid your old friend, Tony. You look strapped.”

“Nothing to worry about. I got a deal on.”

“Like eight years ago?”

“No, not like eight years ago. Never again.”

“O.K., O.K., friend. I was just making merry.”

“So sit down, Turtle, talk to me.”

But the Turtle didn’t sit.

“What time is it?”

“Eleven.”

“Eleven. Recline here for a minute, Anthony. Don’t move I’ll be back in a shiver, so don’t move. Promise.”

“O.K., I’ll be here.”

The Turtle squeezed through the crowd and went out.

“I couldn’t help hearin’ you, friend,” said the whore one seat down. “You sure all you got is ninety-eight cents?” She smiled, licking the sugar from her lips.

“What’s it to you?”

“Just warmhearted interest. If you’re broke, I thought you may be needing a flop. If you’re not,” and she cocked a hip, “I got another idea.”

“Save it.”

Catell turned his back to the woman. He could feel her looking at him and he got uncomfortable. When he turned around she caught his eye and winked.

“Cut out the kid stuff. I’m not interested.”

“I wasn’t trying to give you any kid stuff.”

“Save it!”

“I’ve been!”

“Well, I don’t want it.”

Catell started to look for a cigarette, but before he could shake one from the pack the whore pulled one out of her purse and handed it to him. When she leaned over the V of her blouse opened up and Catell got a good look.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me for that, baby. I got something better to offer.”

“I ain’t buying.”

But the woman didn’t give up. She swiveled on the stool and swung her leg slowly against Catell.

“Who’s talkin’ of buying, baby?”

Catell got impatient, but before he had opened his mouth a voice said:

“Is this lady annoying you?”

They both turned and saw the Turtle. He was wearing the dumb expression. Then he said, “Blow, lady.”

“Now, listen here, runt—”

“Lady, blow. No lovers’ quarrels, puleeze.”

“Tell this creep to go away,” she said to Catell.

The Turtle put a hand on her shoulder and spoke in a confidential tone. “Sweet, you’re making too many mistakes. My friend and me are a couple of fairies, and very much in love. We’re gettin’ wedded tonight and no bridesmaids. So, puleeze, lady, drag outa here.”

The whore gasped at the Turtle and then looked at Catell. She made an offensive sound, got up, and strutted away.

The Turtle sat down next to Catell and waved to the short-order man. “Vegetable soup, two scrambled with ham, side of fries, apple pie a la mode, glass of milk, coffee. For my friend here. For me, a spot of tea.”

“Now, listen, Turtle—”

“Shut up. You’re broke, I ain’t.”

“Turtle, not the milk.”

“Shut it, Anthony. Milk’s good, and you look like hell.”

“You don’t kid me, Turtle. You don’t look so hot yourself.”

The Turtle didn’t answer. He pulled bills out of various pockets and folded them together. Then he stuck the money away.

“You were speaking to me, Anthony?”

“Where’d that come from, all of a sudden?”

“Where else?”

“You were only gone about fifteen minutes.”

“A master does not need time, only opportunity.”

“Opportunity on Main Street, L.A. Don’t tell me!”

“I did the movie crowd on Broadway. Deceived by the balmy breezes of our daytime weather, few citizens were wearing coats tonight. A true blessing to the likes of me and the likes of your empty stomach. Now stop crapping and eat.”

Catell ate and they didn’t talk for a while. The Turtle sipped his tea, trying to look elegant with one finger sticking out. He was very proud of his delicate hands, but when he sipped the tea, he made a loud, slurpy sound with his mouth. When Catell was on his coffee, he lit a cigarette and leaned his elbows on the counter.

“Well, Turtle, say something.”

“I can tell you feel better. You say something.”

“What?”

“What’s the big deal you got on?”

“The big deal. I need a little help, Turtle. You want in?”

“If it’s within my interests, count me in.”

“Is money?”

“Anthony, count me in.”

“Like I said, Turtle, I need some assist. The deal is all done with, except I got to unload the swag here in town and I don’t know my way around.”

“Nothing’s easier, Tony. Just name the name and I find. By the way, anybody looking for you?”

“Yeah, the Feds.”

“Oi! They know you’re here?”

“That’s one of the things you gotta find out for me.”

“Will do. What are they after?”

“Big-time stuff, Turtle.”

“A lot of cash in it, huh?”

“Not really. Not that much, but it’s big-time, Turtle, and I pulled it off neat. No hitch so far.”

“Dope?”

“Naw. Gold.”

“You mean—you mean a solid, pure block of it? Nothing but gold?

“Uh-huh.”

Turtle closed his eyes and hummed

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