blinked, his eyes unfocused as he turned my questions over in his mind. I knew he only thought about the moments when they found me, but I'd been taking tabs for so long. Until I could find another way to keep the monster happy and quiet, I would continue to take them. The alternative meant that it would force me to feed it with the pain, fear, and lust of others. I wouldn't do that.
I sighed. “Grace, would you mind stepping outside? It seems that I have a private issue with the Grouping that's only here to watch over me like I'm some child.”
She nodded, her wide eyes glistening, and hurried to the door.
I called out to her retreating form, “I'm sorry. It won't take long.”
When I heard the door click, I waited a moment before waving towards the couch. “Have a seat. Both of you. I thought Kian might have already told you a bit about it, but I'm going to explain a few things.”
They hesitated, choosing to look at each other than do as I said. Whatever silent conversation passed between them had Trace sitting, and Axton perched on the arm, no doubt positioning himself in case he needed to jump up in a hurry.
Fools.
Kian laid a hand on my bouncing thigh, and I followed his arm up to find his penetrating gaze. “I haven't told them. Anything that happens between us is between us, not for all the Grouping to pick through. Besides, I figured that if you wanted them to know, you'd tell them.”
Despite the swirling, violent sensations inside of me, my heart fluttered. Without thought, I leaned towards him, meeting his lips halfway. Something about Kian had me under his spell, and I wasn't sure that I cared to find out what it was. As I pulled back, the realization hit me that if this conversation didn't go well, and the Grouping chose to leave at the end of their rotation, I would lose him. That only increased the crazed ricocheting inside.
Trace cleared his throat, but I stared at Kian a little longer, tracing the features that were the physical evidence of our connection. Kian squeezed my thigh, and his lips turned up in a sweet smile, reassuring me of something that I couldn't name, but I felt it all the same.
When Trace cleared his throat a second time, my head snapped around, and he flinched a little. The movement was slight, but I saw it, and it pleased my monster. That was why I needed those tabs.
“My mother was born in Anilia when it was still Anilia. I know very little about my family beyond what I remember of my mother and what Master Akai revealed the last time he came by. And yes, that was part of why I reacted so poorly. When it fell to King Lorian, Master Akai somehow got her transferred to work under him because he had some connection to my grandparents. After she began working as a Grim, she became pregnant with me. She refused to tell anyone who my father is, but she did leave a note for Master Akai, in case she died.” I paused, swallowing down the pain those words always punched through my heart.
“Wait, I thought she disappeared when that massive loss of Grims happened. Did she have something ready because she had you?” Axton asked.
I shook my head and shifted in my seat. “No, apparently she felt something coming. In that letter, she asked Master Akai to take me if anything should happen to her. She also warned him. She said that my father might have given me something.”
“Given you what?” Trace interrupted, leaning forward with my container still clenched in his hand.
“I don't know. That part remained vague. The warning she left wasn't. She claimed that if I couldn't control the thing inside of me, it would devour my soul and basically wear my body as a meat suit.”
“What?” Kian's screech startled me, and I jerked around.
“What does that mean?” Axton inquired, drawing my attention back to him.
This was the moment I dreaded. The monster had remained a secret between Master Akai and me since I'd first asked him about the thing inside my well. His reaction to my innocent question frightened me. It also made it very clear that I wasn't like the rest of the children. He impressed the importance of keeping the monster hidden. To even think of telling them about it drove my body to break out in