Stoking the Fire (Salus Security #1) - Teodora Kostova Page 0,73

Afghanistan. And then stories about some of his clients.

They’re happy stories. They make his eyes twinkle and his lips curve into a smile, and his shoulders relax.

I sit next to him and listen; my heart so full that I’m going to explode. I can’t remember a time I’ve been happier.

Nagging thoughts keep bugging me, keep reminding me this isn’t real. Not really. It’s a bubble, closed off from reality. A reality that has men who want to kidnap me, and a family that’s fractured, and a world that’s on the verge of destroying itself.

But I push them back because I can’t do a fucking thing about any of that. All I can do right now is sit here, next to the fire, next to the man who holds my heart in his dark gaze, and be happy.

Later, Alec fucks me so hard I see stars and then holds me so gently my eyes burn. That man… that fucking man is full of so many contradictions that he keeps surprising me at every turn. In hindsight, I realize that I barely knew him before. He barely showed me anything about himself, and yet I loved him then.

As I love him now.

I never stopped loving him.

Lying in his arms, I contemplate telling him. But… Something’s stopping me. I don’t know what it is. I just know that when I look into his eyes, I want to blurt out those three little words more than anything. But my lips won’t move.

I leave it alone.

We have time.

“You’re thinking so hard you’re practically vibrating,” Alec murmurs, his hand stroking my hair.

I prop my chin on his chest to look at him. “I’m just thinking about round two.”

He raises an eyebrow skeptically, but lets me be. His fingers in my hair feel so good, and so does his warm skin under my cheek. I open my fingers over his chest, absentmindedly playing with his chest hair, letting my mind relax and wander aimlessly for a change.

“What do you want to do when you finish your PhD?” Alec asks, his voice soft but there’s an edge to it, an undercurrent that makes me look up at him again. He’s watching me with alertness that wasn’t there a moment ago.

For the first time, I want to voice what I’ve known in my heart for a while. “I’ve always been kinda envious of Adri. He gets to travel and do exciting stuff, and, most importantly, do something good. Expose corrupt politicians, and dismantle crime organizations, and give the police enough evidence to prosecute drug dealers.”

Alec’s eyes don’t stray from mine, and he doesn’t give an outward indication if my words affect him at all. But I can feel how fast his heart’s beating in his chest, how his face drains of color. Fully expecting an outburst or, at the very least, a lecture of how dangerous and stupid that is, I make to move away.

Alec’s arms tighten around me. When I look at him again, his lips are pursed, and his face is still paler than usual, but his eyes are bright and full of emotion.

“I’m not going to pretend I like hearing any of this,” he says in a gruff voice. “But I’ll deal.”

I must look as shocked as I feel because Alec chuckles, bringing my face in for a quick kiss.

“I’ll never not want to protect you, Zach,” he says softly, lips brushing mine as he speaks. “But you gotta do what you gotta do.” He kisses me again, longer and more languid this time. When we part, he cups my jaw and says, “You’re strong, and you’re smart, and as much as I don’t want to admit it, you’ll make an amazing investigative journalist.”

My smile’s too big and too hopeful to contain. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

I wake up from the rain beating on the roof of the cabin. Alec’s still sleeping beside me, his face relaxed and even a little smile tugging on the corner of his mouth.

As quietly as I can, I get up and pad out of the room. Putting on a pair of sweats and Alec’s hoodie, I make a cup of coffee in the kitchen and take it outside on the porch. It’s cold, but it’s a welcome change to the heatwave we experienced in the past few days. Grabbing the blanket hanging from one of the chairs, I snuggle in it and sit on the bench, pulling a chair closer to prop my feet up. The smell of rain and fresh coffee settles around