Starting From Here (Starting From #3) - Lane Hayes Page 0,42

joined her band, for fuck’s sake.”

“I didn’t have much of a choice. I got painted as a pariah just like you did. You and Justin wouldn’t talk to me. And I couldn’t book any gigs on my own, so I waited it out for—”

“For the publicity.”

“For my shot at a second chance.”

“Hmph.” He sucked in a breath and then frowned as if he’d just recalled a niggling detail. “What did you mean about ‘having a thing for me’? Is that code for ‘I hired a hit man’?”

“Ha. Ha. It means I wanted…you.”

“Me? No way,” he snorted.

“It’s true. You were mine first, and I hated sharing your friendship and your time. I hated being the guy on the outside when I’d always been the one on the inside. And yeah, that sounds stupid and childish, but…it’s the truth.”

Tegan cocked his head. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with that, but—”

“Nothing. It would just be nice to start over.”

“That’s pretty much impossible. We know way too much about each other.”

“It’s not all bad, you know,” I huffed.

“The sex is hot,” he conceded. “It was always hot. Maybe we should stick to what we’re good at.”

“Are you proposing a fuck-buddies arrangement?” I deadpanned. “We tried that once. It didn’t work out well.”

“We were twenty-one. Of course it didn’t work out.”

I smiled at the memory of the dark bar, the sound of laughter over the strains of a Korn song, and the smell of spilled beer and strong perfume. My new band had just played at a local dive in Long Beach and I was high as a fucking kite. The adrenaline, vodka, and weed combo made me feel omnipotent. Two girls were hanging on my every word. One of them kept putting her hand on my junk. I was two seconds away from suggesting we take our chances in a bathroom stall or something classy like that, when T showed up.

He pulled me aside to tell me he liked our set. I didn’t know he’d been in the audience, but T had a way of sticking to the shadows. I sipped the beer he bought me and reveled in his attention. I couldn’t get enough. We talked about music and the few people we still had in common. When he finished his beer and said he was heading home, I asked for a ride. And I invited him inside.

So yeah, I initiated…everything. I was the one who leaned in and brushed my mouth over his. I was the one who slid my fingers under his shirt to feel the smooth planes of his stomach. I thrust my tongue between his lips, unbuckled his belt, and pushed him flat on his back, writhing over him like a ho. And when he responded, rolling over me, pulling my hands above my head, asking me if I was sure…the answer was so fucking easy. Yes. Yes. Yes.

We stretched one night into a month and tried to make it something more, but that old familiarity worked against us. We knew too much about each other. I lived in LA, he lived in Long Beach. I wasn’t out of the closet.…Hell, I thought my bi-ness was confined to occasional same-sex kissing until Tegan’s dick was in my ass. It was hot and we were very, very good at sex, but long story short…we weren’t ready to be more than friends.

And friendship was tricky too. But it was probably our best bet for now.

“So…friends?”

Tegan narrowed his eyes, then smiled. And damn, he had a nice smile. It was warm and sweet. “You’re thinking too hard. C’mon. I’ll make you an omelet and take you home.”

“That’s a very friendly offer,” I replied with a grin.

“When you’re off my shit list, I’m literally the friendliest guy you know.”

I chuckled softly and followed him into the galley-style kitchen. We stood side by side, drinking beer, listening to a bluesy playlist on Spotify while we chopped veggies and chatted about random things, like Halloween candy and scary movies.

We’d done enough reminiscing for one night anyway. I had a lot of regrets. Maybe T did too. But we couldn’t undo anything by looking backward.

6

Tegan

Friends. Okay. Not gonna lie, that sounded daunting. Declan had been my rival for so long, it almost felt strange to lower my defenses.

I stewed about it all weekend. The quick trip to Long Beach to visit my mom didn’t settle my nerves at all. She’d lost her hair and was experiencing some side effects to the chemo. I