She cocks her head and smiles at me in the most creepy way, like she’s possessed. And I know with what: Power. “Well, then … If you want him to live, I guess you’ll just have to do exactly what I say.”
***
PHOENIX
Present
Her entire life story makes me want to rip my own heart out of my chest and hand it to her on a platter.
“I loved you, Miles,” she says, placing her hand on my cheek. “I always did.” She swallows. “And I still do.”
She’s ruined me. Destroyed me. And now, after all these years, I finally learn the truth about her choice, our lives. The reason why I could never be with her, even though we both wanted to.
It was never my choice to separate… but it was never hers, either.
All these years, I thought that she yearned power, the wrong kind of power, the kind that came with lies and deceit. Now, I realize, she chose to do what anyone would do for the person they loved.
She wanted to protect me, and to do that she had to burn whatever was left of her feelings for me. Just to keep me alive … to give me a chance … even if it meant a life without her.
She knew full well what it would do to me. How it would shape me into a man bent on achieving greatness, determined to show her that I could be anything and everything she ever wanted.
But I already was everything she wanted … everything she couldn’t have because of her family. Her family has caused all our problems, all these lies, all these broken hearts.
I make a fist with my hand. “Your family did this?”
“They wanted what was best for me, even though it wasn’t what I needed.”
“No, they wanted what was best for them,” I growl.
“I agree on that part, but it won’t help. We can’t change the past. They needed an alliance for my father’s campaign, and they got one through my marriage with Phillip.” She looks up at me with those wicked eyes of her, as if she could burn a building down just for me. “Believe me when I say I hate them as much as you do. I made sure his family paid the full price.” She grinds her teeth. “I killed his mother.”
This fact doesn’t surprise me. I’m more interested in what she did to her own mother. “And yours?”
She licks her lips. “I haven’t been able to …”
“You can’t kill your own mother.”
“No …” she sighs. “I’m weak.”
“You’re not weak for not being able to kill someone,” I say, grabbing her shoulders. “But you did lie to my face. That was a weakness. You could’ve told me what she was doing.”
“No. If I did that, then you wouldn’t have left me alone. You would never have accepted it,” she says.
Which is kind of true. I wouldn’t ever have left her side if I knew her mother was the orchestrator behind all her actions.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “It was the only way I knew how to save you. To stop her from reaching out to you … to stop everything.” She smiles at me. “As long as you believed it, so would she.”
She sacrificed her own life—her wishes and her dreams—in order to save my life.
I take her hand off my face, turn around, and get out of the bed. I have to get out for a second. I need a breath of fresh air … away from her and the truth.
Jesus Christ. It’s just a little too much to take in all at once.
“Where are you going?” she asks as I open the door.
“I need … I’m just going for a walk,” I say, glancing over my shoulder. “You need to rest. Try to get some sleep.”
And then I walk out the door, leaving her alone with her emotions.
I shouldn’t. It’s bad, but I can’t help myself. After all we’ve been through, I can’t just turn my back on my own goal. My goal was to make her suffer, and now look at me. I’m turning into a fucking puddle of goo, all because of her side of the story.
Our story. Goddammit. I wish I knew this before.
I clean up her puke with a towel first, and then I kick the bag containing Drago’s body down the stairs.
Maybe burying his body will give me some much-needed time to think about this. To think about us and what the fuck I’m going to