Staccato (Magnum Opus #2) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,77

didn’t matter.

“It’s Yanik, Papa,” Nik answered. He rubbed his thumb against his dad’s thin wrist. “I wanted to come see you.”

“Gurvan,” his father said.

Nik tried not to wince. “No, Papa. It’s Yanik.”

“No,” his dad said, then laughed, a hoarse echo of a once-hearty sound, and Nik’s heart twisted. “My son is in New York. He is…on the stage.”

Nik’s mouth curved into a smile. His father had seen almost every performance he could. They didn’t always have the money to travel, so he came more often than Nik’s mother. “I came back to see you, Papa,” Nik told him. It was a good day—or at least, a good moment. His father didn’t know it was him, but he knew who he was. It mattered. He lifted his dad’s hand to his cheek and pushed his thumb against his eyelid. “See, Papa. It’s Yanik.”

“Ahh. Mon fils,” he whispered. His hand went limp, and his breathing evened out. The room was filled with the hiss of machines, the quiet beep as it monitored his heart. Two weeks ago, he sat up. He ate. He complained about the taste of Van’s pudding. He asked for roast.

Yesterday, the nurse said he’d managed a little bit of clear jelly and not much else. She told Van they’d need to consider whether or not they wanted to administer nutrition when he wouldn’t eat any longer.

Van had been furious. “They’re asking me if we want him to starve to death.”

And Nik’s answer had been simple. “He’s doing that on his own, anyway.”

Van hadn’t spoken to him much since that conversation, but then again, Nik had always been the more practical one. He sighed and finally sat, laying his dad’s hand back down, and he leaned forward until his head rested against the railing.

“Papa,” he said, switching back to English, because he knew his dad wasn’t there. “I met the love of my life, and it was at the worst time. He’s…beautiful, and he’s strong, and I think he’d probably burn his life to the ground if it meant making me happy, but I can’t ask him to do that. But I also don’t think I can stay here. I want to sell this fucking house. I don’t want to live surrounded by the walls that killed you and Mama. I want…” He didn’t finish his sentence because he didn’t know what to say.

He didn’t know what the fuck he wanted except to take Adam into his arms, lay him down, and lose himself in his body until he couldn’t think.

His shaking hand reached for his phone, and he opened his texts. ‘Adam, I’m with my dad, but I need you to pick me up. Please.’

The response came like Adam was waiting by his phone. ‘I’ll be there in ten.’

Nik didn’t get his miracle—he didn’t get his dad for an impossible moment. Just the old, dying man who still loved him, even if he’d never understand that Nik was right here and not off living a life that was never really his. He lingered only a moment longer before he rose, finding his dad’s face so he could kiss his forehead. His skin was impossibly warm—a fever wasn’t a good sign, and Nik braced himself for the worst.

It was coming soon. It was just a matter of when.

He made his way back out to the drop-off, the awning blocking most of the sun, and he tapped his cane tip against the edge of his shoe to the beat of his song. To Adam’s song. It still ran through him, filling his veins, his lungs, his mouth. His fingers were like a release valve, easing out some of the pressure, but it wouldn’t be enough, not until he could finish it.

But he needed something first—needed to possess Adam, to have him in the ways that they’d both been holding back. If Adam wasn’t ready, he’d wait, but he didn’t think he needed to. Not with the way Adam had kissed him before, with the way he’d pushed against him—into him.

The sound of the car pulling up startled him, but the sound of Adam’s voice was like a soothing balm to his frayed nerves. “You good?”

Nik found the car, then slid into the seat, reaching for Adam’s hand the moment his cane was folded. He brought warm knuckles to his mouth and kissed them. “Can we go to my place?”

“Yes,” Adam said. There was hesitation in his tone. “Tell me what you need.”

Nik swallowed heavily, the weight around him lessened only