Staccato (Magnum Opus #2) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,69

time I get one. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean this is all contingent on when that happens.”

Adam dragged his tongue over his bottom lip, tasting the remnants of Nik’s own mouth there. Could it actually be that easy? Was anything capable of being this right? He’d had hot, heavy romances that burned bright and fizzled out in the blink of an eye, but they all felt like this—at least for a moment.

Then Nik sighed and kissed the edge of his jaw before repositioning himself, and Adam was struck with the truth. It hadn’t been like this. Those feelings were a cheap knock-off of something real and powerful, and having that here, cupped between both hands, he knew the difference.

“I get it. And believe me, I do want you. But the past few weeks…”

“I know.” Nik’s quiet sigh fanned across his cheeks, and he reached for Adam’s hand, bringing it up to kiss over his knuckles. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“That’s not what I mean—not what I want,” Adam assured him. He eased Nik to the side, then rolled to face him, hooking one leg up over Nik’s so their bodies weren’t parted for long. “It wasn’t just you. I was just as scared. I was hurt when you walked away, but this small part of me was relieved to have the out. I think it’s pretty obvious by now, things don’t usually work out for me the way I want them to.”

“They should,” Nik murmured, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

Adam huffed a quiet laugh and shrugged. “If they did, I wouldn’t be here, so let’s not feel too bad about it.”

Nik opened his mouth, dragging teeth over his clothed skin, then kissed the spot once more before pulling away and turning his face up toward Adam. “I don’t like the thought of you hurting. Even if it was the path you had to walk.”

Adam closed his eyes and his whole body relaxed when Nik began to trace shapes against his palm. “When you walked away, it was painful, but it was also a relief. I felt like you were proving me right—that I just wasn’t the sort of person who could find love. I’m not…I don’t have goals the way other people do. My mother hates how easily I find satisfaction in a simple life.”

Nik hummed quietly as the tip of his finger dragged over the webs between Adam’s fingers. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, leaving that room. I have never wanted anyone as much as I wanted you. And the thought that I could risk losing you terrified me beyond all reason—because believe me, Adam, I’m not an easy person to be with.”

“Neither am I.”

“You don’t understand,” Nik said very softly. “I’m not…I’ve never put in the effort to make it work. I get cranky, I don’t sleep well, my job sucks, and my career isn’t going anywhere.” Nik swallowed thickly. “I don’t deal with emotions the way a lot of people do. I don’t know…I don’t know how to be a person.”

At that, Adam laughed, and Nik made a slightly offended noise until Adam soothed him with another kiss. “You’ve done a pretty good job so far,” he assured him, cupping his cheek. He dusted his thumb over warm skin, feeling the way his lashes brushed softly against the sensitive part of his hand. “You don’t have to be like everyone else to be a person.”

“I know that,” Nik replied, a little testy even as he leaned into Adam’s touch. “I just want you to know it will be work.”

“I’m not afraid of work, Nik,” Adam told him. “I just don’t want you to have expectations. My mom and sister were more than happy to let me pursue my shitty music, and my piercing career—and shove metal in my face and carve my skin up with ink, because they thought one day, I’d realize I wanted more.” His breath was shakier than he expected, startling him because it had been years since he’d let the idea of disappointing his mom and sister really bother him. He ran a hand down his face, but Nik felt the movement and caught it, turning his wrist to press a kiss to his palm.

“You’re enough,” Nik murmured against his skin.

Adam’s eyes went hot, and he closed them. “I just like things simple. I don’t want much.”

“To be loved,” Nik whispered, and Adam’s heart clenched. They’d circled around the words, said them in different ways, but