Staccato (Magnum Opus #2) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,114
And the world would be brought to their feet by the beauty of Nik’s music, and Adam would comfort himself by knowing pieces of him existed in that music.
But pieces of him could not exist in Nik’s life. Nik didn’t want him—not really. The idea that Adam would drop everything and follow him across the world hadn’t come up because Nik hadn’t wanted it. And Adam wouldn’t beg for that—wouldn’t beg for scraps of consideration. Nik deserved the world, but Adam deserved to be loved the right way. The real way.
He mourned his loss, licking his wounds with pizza and beer and skipping shifts until he couldn’t any longer. Vincent was as understanding as he could be, even with the issued warning that if Adam missed any more, that would be it. He understood, he apologized, he went on with life.
It was late on a Friday and an unexpected rush had just died down when Adam looked up to find Jay leaning against the wall of the shop. He’d seen him a time or two, but Jay understood he needed space, and the four weeks between leaving Nik’s house for the last time and right then had been enough.
He felt relief now, when he looked into Jay’s eyes, and offered a smile that had Jay crossing the distance between them. “You look beat.”
Adam laughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he stood. “Everyone wants needles in their body today. My back hurts.”
Jay snorted, then glanced over his shoulder to the empty piano. The shop was open, but there was a for-sale sign on the window Adam had been resolutely ignoring, because he knew what it meant. More change—more endings. Not enough beginnings.
“Buy you a sub?” Jay offered.
Adam nodded, then threw his Back in Thirty Minutes sign on top of the desk before shouting to Vincent that he was grabbing some food. He didn’t wait for an answer, walking next to Jay close enough that their elbows brushed.
“Are you here to check on me?”
Jay’s smile was a little sheepish, and as much as it hurt, Adam wasn’t surprised. “They closed on the house today. I saw the moving truck there with the new owners’ stuff.”
Adam closed his eyes a long moment, then opened them again and realized they were heading for the exit instead of the food court. He didn’t argue, just followed—it was easier that way. “Have you talked to him?”
“Briefly. He came over to say goodbye before his flight.”
Adam wanted to ask when it was, how long he’d been gone, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. “So, Van went off to Texas or whatever?”
Jay laughed as the sliding doors parted, and he waved his hand over to a bench near the fountain that was sparkling in the last orange glow of dusk. “He actually went with him. Can you believe that shit?”
In truth, Adam could believe it. How could he not? Van loved his brother—needed Nik far more than Nik had ever needed him. And he didn’t think Van would stay, but there was no place the brothers should be other than together. At least for now.
Jay pulled his backpack off, then pulled the zipper down and dug out two wrapped subs, handing one to Adam. “They’re not sadness burritos. I don’t think they make ones that’ll help how you must feel.”
Which was empty.
Like pieces of him had been carved out and cauterized so he didn’t feel real pain, just a faint, ghostly twinge of scar tissue. “I’ve been better,” he admitted, then unwrapped his food and stared down at the pile of meatballs and sauce. His appetite sucked at first, but everything was starting to feel normal again. His mom had come for a brief visit and made him soup, and his sister reminded him daily he was wanted.
The week before, he was hit on at the bookstore, and he stopped feeling like some sort of social pariah, in spite of being the reason Nik’s life had fallen apart before Alessio arrived.
“How are things with you?” he asked as Jay was taking a huge bite.
Jay held up a finger as he chewed, then offered a half-grin. “Not bad. I’ve been teaching Seth how to skate.”
Adam’s brows lifted. “Seriously?”
Jay shook his head and laughed. “Boy is a damn disaster, but he’s having fun. He hasn’t told me shit about his ex, but he did invite me to go with him to visit his sister next week, so maybe he’s feeling a little better about all this.”