to do, though if he’d been within an hour’s driving distance, there’s a good chance I would’ve.
I very much wanted to make the motherfucker wear a pear for two hours a day, every damned day, for the rest of his god-forsaken life, but I had a feeling I wouldn’t be allowed to jail him in the underground below our compound and assign this task to a prospect.
Too bad.
I could, however, make certain that Nathan kept these pears from being used on adolescent girls again.
But I wasn’t going to demand they be destroyed. If a grown woman wants it used on her so she might one day be able to enjoy anal sex more, then that choice shouldn’t be taken from her.
I had no issue with the concept, it was using it on a child I took issue with.
“Did all the girls have to be trained this way?” I asked. I knew what the answer was going to be before she gave it, and it pissed me off even more when she confirmed what I’d guessed.
“No, Sir. If he’s experienced, your first partner dictates what training you get. Some of them don’t want there to be any training at all, so they get a true virgin in all three holes. Others want gag training but nothing else. Most wanted us trained in massage. Those classes were always full. My first match would be inexperienced, so we were both being trained for everything except the actual event.”
“Did you tell Nathan about the pear?”
“Yes, Sir.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to demand she explain why she’d kept it from me, but I closed my mouth at the last second.
“Is there anything else you held back that you’d like to share, Kitten?”
“Are you mad?”
“Frustrated. Irritated, even. I need to know what was done to you. What if I’d used cinnamon oil or a ginger plug, and the burning had brought back memories I hadn’t known about?” My turn to take a breath and let it go. “I can’t be mad at you, Kitten. You’ll tell me everything when you can.”
Her outside arm skated up my chest and her hand wrapped around the back of my neck, holding me tighter. I pulled her a little closer in my arms as well, and leaned my head down to kiss the top of her head.
“I have you, Kitten. You’re safe in my arms.”
“I know. Your arms feel like home to me now. A safe haven, which is crazy after you just hurt me so bad, but I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
“Part of me wants to apologize, but I don’t think I can. Last night and today...” I closed my eyes, trying to figure out how to explain it.
“Balance,” she said. “I understand. You didn’t want to hurt me last night, but you had to. It wasn’t a turn-on for you. I mean, parts of it were, I think, but mostly, it was you trying to make me as comfortable as possible while you did this thing to me. It isn’t your kink, or mine, but it had to be done. Today was your kink, and you held yourself back for so long while you abused my asshole. When it was finally time for you to fuck me...”
She touched my cheek, her palm flat against it, and somehow steered it down until our gazes locked. “Balance, Squatch. Last night, you took ownership of me in a way that I asked you to, even though you didn’t really want to. Today, you took ownership of me in your own way. It had to be done. We both know it. There’s no reason to apologize for either.”
Kitty
The day before we were due to have our conversation about how much control he could take when it came to my safety, I sat down and wrote out everything I wanted him to know.
I pointed out that he comes and goes god-knows-where, and I never know anything, not even when he walks into danger, and I knew he put himself in danger all the time. I worry about him, too, but worry is part of life, and having one of his brothers permanently attached to me anytime I left the house felt too much like captivity.
I’d resented Freckles running in the park with me. Even when he hung back, I couldn’t get into my run because someone was watching me. And then when I’d met Velvet at the mall for a manicure, Freckles had watched me from a bench