hurt the asshole who hurt me using that... thing, and now I want Squatch to do it to me, but be nice when he does it, so this thing no longer has power over me...” I shook my head. “Fuck it. It’s enemas, okay? I have to give them to myself when I know I need to be clean inside, and I want them to stop being a reminder of bad times. If I can get him to be nice with them, will that work?”
“That isn’t your question. It’s the first part of it, because he does need to be gentle with you a few times, or at least once. Your question is whether he can ever give you the painful kind, and turn it into orgasms for you. You don’t want him to give them to you gently.”
“How could you know that?”
He smiled. “Observation. Doms learn how to tell when a subject is a turn-on, especially when the submissive isn’t sure she wants it to be a turn-on. Does Squatch know it’s a bad trigger for you?”
“No, but he was with me when I got to turn it around on my abuser.”
“He needs to know. You said you have a therapist? You may want to talk to her about this. Let her help you sort it out in your head. Or, if you’re certain of it, then talk to him. Tell him you want it to be part of sex, part of the scene, part of the power exchange. Many subs like the idea of their Top controlling something so basic. So base.”
Yes. That was it. “Mike controlled it. It’s like he owned me more than Squatch. I need Squatch to take charge of it.”
“Then tell him, but be clear he’s going to have to work you into it.”
“What will you tell Squatch when he wants to know what we talked about?”
“I’ll tell him to ask me again in two weeks, and if you haven’t told him then I will.”
That was as good as I was likely to get, and I was surprised he was offering even this much. I know how close the bikers are, how much loyalty they have.
“Thank you. You’re easy to talk to.”
He smiled. “I try. C’mon. I’ll race you back to the boat.”
I turned and kicked hard, engaged my arms, and sliced through the cool water towards the boat.
I didn’t expect to feel so protective of Lee, but she brought out something I can only describe as a mama-tiger feeling. Freckles was in the front of the boat when I returned, and I wondered if he’d made her nervous, or if she’d made him uncomfortable. Either way, it felt important for me to keep my eye on her while Khan slid across the water on a single ski.
But this was Kahn, so there was more. He went back and forth behind the boat, jumping the v-shaped wave cast off behind us.
Chapter Forty
Squatch
I wasn’t sure what Khan and Kitty had talked about when they swam away from the boat, but I was certain they weren’t talking about the wildlife.
However, I decided against grilling Kitty about it when she returned to the boat. She sat and offered her hand to Lee, who took it and seemed grateful for the contact. I scared the little hawk submissive, and it pissed me the fuck off, but showing her my anger wasn’t going to help, so I stayed in my seat to watch Khan ski. I’d have preferred to sit with Kitty and talk to her, but my brother had asked us to take care of Lee, so it seemed best I stay away from her and try to keep her anxiety levels from going off the charts. Freckles had moved away from her, too.
Khan sat in the back seat when he finally climbed onto the boat, and Lee moved to the floor at his feet. He gave her the tiniest of nods and said, “Lips on my dick, pet.”
He lifted his butt off the seat when she went to pull his trunks down, and she pulled them only far enough to bare his cock.
Kitty looked to me in alarm, and I reached my hand out for her. She came to me, and I pulled her into my arms with her sitting on my lap. Magnum stowed the ski back in the side pocket and then returned his hand to the throttle.
“There are some nesting eagles just north of here,” Magnum told us as he eased the throttle up,