Spitting off tall buildings - By Dan Fante Page 0,24
woman going in looked a lot like Vanessa del Reo, the old porno star. I remembered the movie where Vanessa gave a blow job to a three-foot-tall midget.
The next person leaving the admin department was a heavy-set black lady wearing a business dress and carrying a briefcase. Important-looking. Definitely a supervisor or manager of one of the battalions of laborers.
She was getting into her furry winter coat, pressing the ‘Down’ elevator button. When she saw me sitting on the sill wearing my harness with my bucket at my feet, she smiled, then made small talk to avoid the awkwardness. ‘Cold this morning,’ she said, ‘isn’t it? Out there…outside.’
I nodded. ‘Anti God.’
‘What time do you fellows start?’
‘Before dawn. Arctic Circle Standard Time.’
She was big, standing at least six feet in her heels, with even teeth and a friendly way about her. ‘So,’ she went on, noticing the crushed-out cigarette butts by my feet, ‘by now your day must be about half over.’
‘I need an opinion,’ I said, half surprised at myself for speaking the words. ‘Will you answer a question for me?’
She folded her arms then smiled again. ‘An opinion? That depends, doesn’t it?’
‘Not expert analysis. Just your point of view. About windows.’
The smile was still there. ‘Building maintenance isn’t my field.’
‘This’ll only take thirty seconds. Okay?’
The big lady chuckled then looked up at the number displays above the three elevator doors. None were within four or five floors of the eleven numeral. ‘Okay,’ she said, ‘Thirty seconds. What do we do?’
I pointed down the hall at the last set of upper and lower panes I’d cleaned. ‘Those windows over there. The ones in the corner, I’d like you to walk over to them and tell me what you think.’
‘What I think?’
‘If they’re clean.’
She studied my expression. ‘Okay,’ she said, then walked the fifteen feet to the set of glass. I followed.
‘Now what,’ she asked, after quickly checking the two.
‘Clean?’ I asked.
‘They look okay. I’d say…satisfactory.’
‘Yeah but, what about the streaks? Don’t you see streaks?’
She examined more closely until she seemed to make out the dark snaky blotches that, in my opinion, disfigured each pane. ‘You’ve cleaned these? Correct?’ she asked.
‘Twenty minutes ago.’
Her smile was back. ‘Soo…how long have you been doing windows?’
‘My first day.’
‘Well, to be honest…’
‘You’re right,’ I said. ‘Screw it! The hell with it!’ I began unhitching my belt.
‘You’re quitting?’
‘Thanks for helping me to decide.’
Just then an elevator car arrived, clunking to a stop. The big lady hurried over, picked up her briefcase, then looked back. ‘I have to go.’
I watched the doors close. She smiled goodbye, shaking her head from side to side. I smiled back.
Less than a minute later, an ‘Up’ car arrived. I was back sitting on the sill. Smoking. A group of employees got out and headed toward the glass office doors. Flash was behind them.
He saw me and walked over, saw my equipment and harness in a heap on the floor. I could tell that he wanted to say something but it took several seconds for him to assemble the words. ‘So, what’s up?’ he asked finally. ‘On a break?’
‘Yeah.’
Flash lit his own cigarette and sat down on the sill a few feet from me, then worked himself into another question. ‘So…how many’d ya do?’
‘Those,’ I said, pointing to the bank of windows along the wall.
He considered the information. ‘Insides too?’
‘No. Only the outsides.’
Another pause. He flicked the ash from his cigarette onto the floor, stepped on it with one work boot, then the other, then searched his shirt pocket for something that wasn’t there, then checked his watch. ‘I’m done downstairs,’ he announced finally.
Not knowing what else to say, I said, ‘Oh.’
What he had been looking for in his right shirt pocket turned out to be in the left pocket; a used toothpick.
He probed a gap in his bottom front teeth until he was ready to talk again. ‘We’re okay,’ he said. ‘We’re still on schedule.’
I looked at him, watched him suck at the stupid sliver of wood. ‘Hey look, man,’ I said, ‘I quit! I’m done. I’m no good at this deal.’
He considered my declaration for several seconds. ‘Huh?’ he said.
‘This.’
‘What? Glass?’
‘Yeah.’ I pointed at the line of windows. ‘Look…look at the goddamn streaks.’
Flash looked. He even stood up and walked over to the windows. After checking a few he returned to the sill and sat down. ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Okay. So what?’
‘So what? So what is those windows! They’re still dirty!’
‘Ya know…’ he said, then stopped, spitting his toothpick at