Spiked by Love (Bellevue Bullies #6) - Toni Aleo Page 0,103
set her in my lap, holding her close as I lie back. She snuggles deep into my chest as I move my hands up and down her hips. I kiss her temple, loving how close she is as I take in a deep inhale of her scent. She brings her hand up to my neck, holding my jaw, and I take it, feeling my mom’s ring under my palm. I think I should tell her it’s my mom’s, what it means to me. But I don’t want to yet. I want to wait.
“What does A.A. stand for?”
I look down to see she is inspecting the ring’s band touching the skin along the base of her finger.
It stands for Asher and Aiden, but I say, “Always, Asher.”
Wow, that lie came off my tongue like it belongs between us. I’ve never really lied to Ally, but here we are. I don’t even know what I’m doing.
“Wow, that’s amazing.”
I kiss her palm, the ring, and then the tip of each finger. I’m trying to distract her, but she’s in love with the ring. I clear my throat and ask, “You sure you gotta go?”
She nuzzles her nose along my jaw. I didn’t shave today, but I don’t think she minds. She’s been nuzzling like this at every turn. “Yeah. I have an early meeting with my adviser.”
“What for?”
She hesitates, and I feel her body going taut. I’m pretty sure this is what she wanted to talk about. “I finally got all my recommendations from everyone, so I sent off the majority of my applications for jobs that are open. We’re going to go over them, make sure I sent everything I needed, and then look at some leads she has for me.”
I move my nose in her hair as my stomach turns. “Where all did you apply?”
“All major market hockey cities. She wants me to expand to other sports, but I’d rather try for the field I want.”
I slowly nod against her head. “This is what you wanted to discuss, huh?”
She doesn’t answer right away, and I can feel the anxiety coming off her in waves. “Yeah. I know it’s months away, but I guess I’m in my head about what will happen with us if I get a job in another state. I put in for some rehab centers here, and of course, the Assassins. But Elli just hired a new sports psychologist last year, so I know she won’t hire me—or fire that girl—no matter how much she may want to.”
I swallow hard around the lump in my throat threatening to choke me. “Oh, okay.”
She moves, and I don’t want to let her go. I don’t want her to look me in the eye and see the fear I’m sure is all over my face. I knew she was graduating; I also knew the possibility of her leaving town was high, but having it in front of me, right in my face, is another feeling. I don’t want her to leave. I don’t want to leave either. She sits up, turning so her feet are at my hips. She leans on her knees, but she doesn’t look at me. “There is an awesome job in South Carolina, with the IceCats, that I’d love to get. I could also do that program Angie got into to further my education. But there are over a hundred applicants for this job, and I’m a brand-new college graduate.”
I slide my hands along her ass, her hips, needing to move them to keep myself in the moment. My initial reaction is to hide and not discuss this. This is hard. This is relationship shit I’m not ready for, but it’s time to stop hiding. I want to let myself feel what I want to feel for this woman. I owe her that. “I don’t know, babe. I hadn’t really thought of leaving once I came back.” She nods and swallows visibly before pushing a piece of hair behind her ear. “I like it here now. I love my jobs—”
“No, I know that.”
“But really,” I say, taking her hand in mine. “No matter what, I got you.” She gives me a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “We don’t have to worry about this yet,” I say because the pure torture on her face is killing me. I hate it, and I don’t want her to burden herself with this yet. “We have months before we have to figure out what to do.”