The Spia Family Presses On - By Mary Leo Page 0,75

blend of chocolate chunks, powdered sugar, a touch of vanilla extract and rich ricotta cheese.

Yummy, but somehow it might taste better if it was served on a plate, stuffed inside a crispy cannoli wrapper rather than dripping down my face.

I cleared off the excess goo around my eyes and opened them.

The large, normally spotless kitchen was littered with flour, cake batter, and an assortment of cookies, smashed cakes and berry pies. It looked as if a pastry bomb went off. Aunt Babe and Aunt Hetty were hunkered down on either side of their huge wooden island flinging Italian baked goods at each other. Clearly, whatever this was about had escalated out of control , and it was up to me to stop it from going any further.

“What the hell is going on?” I demanded as sight finally returned and a seemingly perfect meringue pie sped right for me.

This time I ducked and it flew through the open doorway and landed splat on Lisa’s boots, her lovely expensive, high-end boots. She gazed down at the lemony mess then back up at me, a look of utter shock on her face. The woman could take almost anything, but you better not mess with her wardrobe. Her whole body tensed and I could tell there were some evil revenge thoughts going on.

I had to take charge of the situation.

“Wait a minute,” I yelled, but the words were stifled when a piece of rum cake landed directly in my mouth. There was so much rum rolling around in my mouth, it was as though the cake was simply a catalyst for the booze.

I had no choice but to chew.

It was then that a luscious thought occurred to me, perhaps if I stood there long enough, with my mouth open, I could get an actual alcohol buzz.

“This is all your fault, you miserable old grouch,” Aunt Babe yelled as she hurled a ball of dough at Aunt Hetty, missing her shoulder by an inch. The dough struck Lisa right in the stomach. She doubled over for a moment, straightened, grabbed the ball off the floor and hurled it back at her. It landed on the island in front of Babe with a thud.

“Is this any way for women your age to act?” Lisa shouted.

Aunt Hetty turned toward her, eyes wild, face and body covered with way too much yellow and chocolate cake. Pink icing and some kind of brown goo dripped off her hair every time she moved. “Who invited you two?” she demanded, sticking a fist to her hip. “This is our war, not yours.” And she hurled a chocolate frosted bunt cake.

The perfectly formed cake hit Lisa right between the eyes. Her nose poked out of the center for a moment, but only for a moment because the impact knocked her right off her feet onto her ass. She went down hard on the non-skid cork floor. My aunts stopped throwing things long enough to make sure Lisa was still breathing.

There was a moment of truce, a sigh of relief, a collective intake of air while we all waited for Lisa to say something.

Then, knowing Hetty was partially deaf, Lisa yelled, “Are you people all nuts?”

“You’re darn tootin’ we’re nuts,” Aunt Hetty roared, while pitching another glob of cannoli filling at Aunt Babe. “Nuts because Babe killed Dickey. I have proof. She has that damn ring, and now we’re all going to lose everything we’ve worked for because she had to whack the bastard.”

Then she began pitching and entire tray of cranberry-pistachio biscotti at Babe, and before I could think about it, I was pitching biscotti right alongside of her.

Olive Oil Biscotti with Pistachio and Dried Cranberries – Level Two Or Three

1/4 cup Koroneiki EVOO, or any delicate extra virgin olive oil

2 tsp. vanilla extract

1/2 tsp. almond extract

1/2 to 3/4 cup white sugar depending on your sweetness level

1/4 tsp. salt

1 tsp. baking powder

2 medium eggs

1 3/4 cup unbleached flour

1/2 cup raisins, or dried cranberries, or apricots

1 cup unsalted pistachio nuts, or slivered almonds, or cracked hazelnuts

To turn this into a level three, you can buy the nuts in their shells, crack them and slice each one by hand. Or for a level two, just buy them already shelled and slivered. Preheat oven to 300 degrees. In a pretty large bowl, mix oil, and sugar first. Blend well. Beat in extracts and eggs. Take a moment to breathe in the fragrant aroma, and let your body relax. In a small bowl, combine the flour,