The Spark - Jules Wake Page 0,76

ceremony in one piece.’ And now I felt as if I’d fallen down a rabbit hole. Was he serious? I looked over at my Great Aunt who was in full flow, waving her glass about as she talked to three rather strapping young men with great animation.

‘Oops. Mum’s the word. You shan’t get any more out of me.’

‘I was going to ask about the wedding ceremony.’

‘All will be revealed soon. Right, let’s get you some drinks.’

Once we were furnished with drinks from a beautiful drinks trolley, we made our way over to say hello to Gladys.

‘Darling.’ She turned towards me and reached to pat my cheek. ‘Don’t you look gorgeous? Love agrees with you. Lots of sex too, I’m guessing.’ Barely drawing breath, she turned to Sam and added, ‘You’re a rather fine specimen.’ One of the three men backed away with a discreet coughing fit, while another one tossed back his drink in a single gulp before the three of them melted away.

‘Filters, Gladys. What have we said about filters?’ I said firmly, almost feeling the heat coming from poor Sam’s cheeks.

‘Oh God, darling. I’m far too long in the tooth for all that PC nonsense. I speak as I find. And I’m sure Sam doesn’t mind, do you?’

‘I’ve been called worse,’ said Sam regaining his cool. ‘I’m acquainted with quite a few cougars.’

Gladys loved that and she growled at him in delight. ‘Oh, I like you. Found your match here, Jess. You’d better hang on to him. I give you my permission to have her hand in marriage.’

‘Gladys!’ Now it was my turn to go pink.

‘What? It’s not like your mother would. How is the miserable bat?’

I glared at her.

‘Don’t look at me like that, young lady. You know I’m not one to mince my words. She needs a damn good tickle. And a good roll in the hay. Loosen her up a little. Your father left eighteen years ago; it’s about time she got over it.’

‘Mum is fine, and the last time I saw her, about half an hour ago, she was extremely loose. Lynn opened the gin on the train.’

‘Ah, that’s more like it. And how’s the slutty one, Shelley?’

I shook my head in despair.

‘Still slutty then. I do like that girl. And here they are.’ With a waft of pink chiffon, she abandoned us as Mum, Lynn, Richard and Shelley stepped out onto the patio.

‘God, she’s a hoot,’ said Sam.

‘She’s a flaming liability,’ I said darkly, as Gladys threw expansive arms around Lynn and Mum.

‘Who wants boring relatives? We always rely on my Uncle Jeff to liven things up at Christmas. Every family should have a Gladys or a Jeff.’

‘Hmm, I’m glad you think so.’

‘I like her.’ He lifted a hand to my face, his eyes softening as they looked at me. My heart did its usual mis-step. ‘And she’s already given me permission to marry you, so she might just be my favourite one of your relatives.’ A gentle, secretive smile flickered at his lips as his gaze held mine. ‘It’s not the done thing proposing at someone else’s wedding. But maybe you could hold that thought.’

I opened and shut my mouth, too torpedoed by emotion to say anything. Amusement danced in his blue eyes and he brushed a thumb over my lips. I managed to regain control of my goldfish lips but before I could say anything – the words were all whizzing about in my head and I couldn’t quite catch the right one – Gladys had moved off to greet some more new arrivals, leaving my family to come over to join us.

‘Any idea who the three hotties are?’ asked Shelley, pointing quite openly to the three men who’d been talking to Gladys when we arrived.

‘None. Funnily enough she didn’t introduce us.’ Which I now realised had been a deliberate omission. Normally Gladys wanted everyone to be friends.

‘Probably because she could see you were taken.’

‘Down, girl,’ I said at the characteristic feral gleam that lit her eyes.

‘You’re not going to spoil my fun, are you?’

‘No, but wait until after the wedding. Just in case they’re integral to the proceedings.’

‘You don’t need to worry.’ Shelley’s mouth turned down with uncharacteristic gloom. ‘Let’s face it, they are seriously way out of my league. They’re probably decent blokes whereas I’m only fit for losers and bastards.’

I laid a sympathetic hand on her arm, surprised by her dejection, but before I could say anything my mother interjected with a ‘Hmm,’ and none of us missed