The Spark - Jules Wake Page 0,108

the team.’

‘I know, love. But that’s sport for you. There’s always someone waiting for your slot.’

‘Oh, and he knows that, doesn’t he? Oh, poor Sam. No wonder he’s so angry.’

‘Don’t worry, love. It’s not your fault.’

‘But it is. I had no idea.’

‘He’ll be all right. You know Sam.’

‘He’s so upset. And he’s never used that language before. Not in front of me.’

‘That’s because he’s upset. And you don’t blame him. He’s worked hard. And knowing Sam it’s the injustice of it all that’s really got to him.’

‘Miles, you don’t believe it’s anything to do with Victoria. It’s not. It’s because he’s shown a lack of commitment this season. By spending time with that girl. Victoria told me that herself.’

‘Are you sure that’s true? I’m reasonably sure he’s only missed a couple of matches.’

‘Well, I assure you it’s nothing to do with Victoria. That girl adores him. She’s heartbroken and she’d never do that. She loves him. She wants what’s best for him. She knows this other girl isn’t right for him.’

‘Sally.’ Miles’s tone held a warning. ‘That’s for Sam to decide, not us, and not Victoria, even if she does love him.’

‘Oh, Miles, I’m so worried about him. It feels like he’s making such a wrong turn. Everything was fine before.’

‘Shh, we have to let him make his own decisions. His own mistakes.’

Pinching my lips together I blinked away the tears. Even Sam’s dad, who I thought might be on my side, thought he was making a mistake. And now it appeared Sam was. Until he’d met my mum, I hadn’t appreciated how important his cricket was to him. And now Victoria had put the refuge at risk. God, was any of this worth it?

Clutching my car keys, I turned on my heel and walked out, not caring if anyone heard me or not. I was done. Sam deserved a better outcome than this.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

‘Jess!’

I ignored Sam’s voice and kept walking even though I could barely see where I was going through blurry eyes.

‘Jess. Wait.’

The car was just ahead of me. I could climb in and drive away. Just keep driving. Away from all this mess.

‘Jess.’ Sam’s shout was right behind me now. I stopped.

He caught my arm and turned me round, the anger and confusion in his face softening when he saw my tears. ‘Jess, what’s wrong?’

‘I can’t do this anymore.’ The words sliced into me as I managed to get them past the lump in my throat.

Sam just looked at me; he knew I meant it.

‘Don’t, Jess. Please don’t.’ He reached a hand out to wipe at the tear tracks on my cheeks.

I shook my head. ‘It’s too much. I can’t do it.’ The trail of chaos and hurt was too high a price to pay. ‘I didn’t understand about the cricket.’

‘Hell, that’s not important.’

‘Yes, it is. But that’s not just it,’ I lied. I could put up with most things for him but I couldn’t bear to see him lose something that had been such a big part of his life for so long and that could be cut off for ever. He only had so many more seasons to play at top level. I might not be a sports fan but I knew that much. My mum had said how brilliant he was. “He’s one of the most talented young batsmen either of us have ever seen.” How could I take that away from him?

‘And I’m sick of it all too.’ God, I sounded convincing. I had to. I loved Sam so much. This was my grand sacrifice. ‘And now my job, my women… That’s unforgivable. There’s too much to lose.’

‘But what about the gain?’

I lifted my eyes to his. He would gain. I’d bloody make sure Victoria and her unprincipled git of a father would do the right thing, if it was the last thing I ever did. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t think it’s enough.’

‘I’m not letting you do this.’

‘You have to. It’s hurting too many people.’

‘I don’t give a fuck about other people, I care about you, Jess.’

‘Don’t.’ Tears were pouring down my face now. ‘Don’t make this so hard.’

He grabbed me and kissed me, his lips angry at first and, God help me, I couldn’t resist. Last kiss. I deserved a last kiss. I screwed my eyes up tightly, shutting out reality and all the pain. And when the kiss ended, I breathed out a choked sob.

‘Jess. I love you.’

I swallowed down hard. ‘I know. I love you, but … it’s just I