should be more supportive of him, more encouraging and enthusiastic about Tempest. More appreciative to be included in the group.” I sighed again. “With you guys and your shirts off, I stick out back there at my keyboards. I don’t feel like I belong.”
“You’re beautiful. You belong wherever you want to belong. And your feelings are just your feelings. There’s no right or wrong with those.”
“But I should talk to him about how I feel, not you. Is that what you wanted to tell me?” I asked quietly.
“No, Lace. That’s not it.”
Bryan stepped closer, and I held my breath. He reached up with the hand that wasn’t holding me anchored to him and framed my face.
“Bry.” I exhaled from the bliss, burrowing closer, pressing my cheek deeper into the warmth of his palm.
His eyes dark, he swept his thumb across my skin. “I want to talk to you about us.” His voice lowered to a rumble, a beautiful accompaniment to the surf. “About the future.”
“What about the future?” I whispered, my heart thrumming.
“I think it’s almost here.” His brows dipped. “Everything seemed to be moving so slow before. I thought we had all the time in the world, that things could just continue as they are. But now with prom around the corner, graduation looming, and these reps here talking about a deal, it seems like things are changing, and those changes are coming fast.”
“Yes, they are,” I said, thinking about the scholarship I wanted. “Maybe too fast.”
I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t prepared, though it was great that Bryan believed in me. He and I seemed to be the only ones who believed in college for me. Certainly, I was in a much better position going into the SAT this time around.
But what if I still didn’t get the scores I needed? What then?
In that scenario, if Tempest signed, I’d go on tour with the band. What would it be like traveling across the country in close proximity with War and Bryan? Would I sleep in a tour bunk with one while continuing to dream about the other?
“There’s unfinished business between us, don’t you agree?” Bryan asked softly, gently nudging into my thoughts.
“Yes, there is.” I stared deeply into his eyes, drowning yet floating in his warmth and approval.
As if he were floating on the same currents, his face drifted closer.
Bryan was all I saw. He was all I wanted.
I licked my lips, desperately wanting his mouth on mine. I longed for his kiss, longed to taste him. The air between us was crisp with his scent, and electric with the charge that was always there between us.
In that moment, I knew with crystal clarity why that spark was always there.
I was in love with Bryan.
I’d been in love with him for a long time. Maybe from the very beginning, before I was even old enough to know what this feeling was. Loving him was an abiding part of me, an integral component of my being.
I loved War too, but that love was totally different. War was an agitator. He required a reaction, demanded it. To be loved by him, I had to be changed, remade according to his will.
Bryan was strong, steady, and he understood me. He used that knowledge, not to tear me down but to build me up, because he wanted what was best for me.
I wanted what was best for him too. That was why I’d been willing to give him up, if my being friends with him would interfere with him having his dream.
But loving two men was a problem, especially when those two men also loved each other.
Where did that leave me? What did that do to the three of us? Would I make things better if I lifted onto my toes and pressed my mouth to Bryan’s? Or would I make things worse, only creating more tangles in the twisted ties that bound us?
Not knowing for sure, and afraid to damage the man who meant so much to me, I stepped back. “I think you’d better take me home.”
Lace
Monday morning, I made myself get out of bed for school. Though the SAT had gone better than the last time I’d taken it, it hadn’t gone as well as I wanted. At least this time, I’d finished the math section.
I only felt confident about portions of that section of the test. Whereas I felt one hundred percent unsure about my decision to cut Bryan off at the beach.