I go still, and my heart flips. For a second, I feel like I’m going to cry. Not because he’s being careless, but because he wants it to be different with me.
The idea is arousing in the extreme to the point that it overwhelms me. Fuck, how am I supposed to pretend these feelings will just…go away tomorrow?
“Samuel—”
“Forget it.” He leans in and presses a hot, quick kiss to my lips. “I’m sorry I brought it up.”
“Why did you bring it up?”
“Because I want you to trust me the way I trust you. Because I want to feel you. Because I’m the best lay you’ve ever had, and I want to show you how the sex can get even better. Because—”
A beat of silence stretches between us, filling with the words he didn’t say.
The words I’m too scared to hear.
“I’m sorry,” he says again. “It was wrong of me to ask. To put pressure on you.”
“It’s okay. I just…I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”
He nods, climbing onto the bed so that he’s on his haunches between my legs. “I’m glad you told me. Just keep talking to me, okay?”
“Of course.”
He slips his hands underneath my knees and spreads my legs wider. He looks down at my pussy, then looks up at me. The earnestness in his gaze, the hunger, is so real and so sharp it takes my breath away. “May I?”
I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, throat suddenly tight. “You may.”
Then he ducks down and gives my slit a long, slow lick that has my hips curling off the bed and my fingers fisting in his hair. “My clit,” I say. “Go there. Now.”
His eyes flash as he does what I tell him, pressing the flat of his tongue to my clit. He stays there, waiting for further instruction.
The need inside my blood roars. Maybe if I reach for my inner alpha, if I grab at whatever control I can get my hands on at this point, I won’t cry. “Now circle it. Yes, just like that, just the tip of your—” My breath catches. “I forgot how good you are at this. Now kiss me. Slow and deep. Like you mean it, Samuel. Yes. Yes.” I reach for the Trojans on the bedside table. I grab one and tear it open with my teeth. “I want to come on your dick.”
Samuel groans against my pussy in reply, the vibration making me see stars.
I grab his hair and pull him away from my pussy. “On your knees.”
He straightens to an impressive height even on his knees, towering over me. His body radiates heat. I drink him in, starting at his thighs. He’s muscle and girth and strength, sinews tight against his skin. His mouth and the tip of his cock glisten. A cock that’s enormous, its velvet length protruding obscenely from between his sculpted hips.
All this power. He’s surrendering all this beauty to me.
My eyes film over. Hands shake as I pull the condom out of the wrapper and wrap my fingers around the underside of his shaft, giving him a firm, slow tug.
Oh my God, how am I supposed to maintain control when he’s so fucking beautiful?
When I can be exactly who I want to be with him because he makes me feel so damn at home in his arms?
I roll the condom onto his dick.
“Hey.” He curls his first finger underneath my chin, tilting my head to look up at him. “What’s wrong?”
Samuel’s brows are drawn together. Curving upward ever so slightly above his nose. His eyes are soft. His whole expression is sweetly concerned.
I shake my head. Sniff. “You’re pretty, that’s all.”
His belly bows out on a quiet laugh. “You’re the pretty one, Em. But thank you.”
He’s fully sheathed now. Ready to go. But I can’t help running my palm up his belly, fingers moving over the smooth skin just above his hips.
Rising up onto my own knees, I move up to his ribs, his breath quickening when I brush my fingers across his nipple. His pectoral muscles tighten, making him look even bigger and firmer.
I can feel the need thrumming inside his skin. He’s hot to the touch, breath coming in pants now. But still I go slowly, doing my best to savor the moment. Savor the fact that he’s flesh and blood and he’s here, and how that makes this encounter so much more intense than any I’ve had online.