social workers and someone will be in to talk to you about resources like counselors and support groups.”
“But, I don’t…understand. What happened?" I reach down to touch my stomach again. “What happened?”
“Do you know what an ectopic pregnancy is?”
“Kind of. Sure. Is that what I had?”
She nods.“Yes, you were very close to twelve weeks along. The embryo was stuck in your fallopian tube instead of your uterus like it normally would and it caused the tube to rupture. You were brought in, and we moved you to surgery right away. Ectopic pregnancies are never viable. I’m so sorry. And in your case, we couldn’t save your fallopian tube. We had to remove it.”
I sink into the bed. I feel like I'm having an out of body experience. This can't be happening. Pregnant? How? We always used condoms, I think.
“Beth?” The doctor covers my hand with hers, again.
I look back at her, and her eyes are filled with sympathy as she looks down at me and squeezes my hand.
“I have something else to discuss with you. And I’m so sorry to add to what I know was very difficult news to hear.”
“Okay.” I hold my breath.
“We believe this happened because you had adhesions in your right fallopian tube. We found similar ones on the left one.”
“What is that?” I put my hand back over the bandage covering my belly button.
“It’s a blockage. We used a dye to see how severe it is, and yours is substantial.”
“Okay. So how do you fix it?”
“Normally we’d clear it.”
“Okay, so did you?”
She clears her throat and glances over her shoulder at my father. “We tried. But it’s too severe. We decided removal of the tube completely was best.”
“Oh, I see.” All the air leaves my lungs, and I turn my hand so I can clasp hers.
“So, I can’t have kids?”
“We left your ovaries and your uterus. So you could. But you’d need the help of a fertility doctor. There are plenty of women who have this surgery and go on to have children.”
Numb with disbelief, I just nod.
“We haven’t removed the tube yet. We wanted to wait to hear from you.” She looks over her shoulder and then looks back at me. She’s still smiling, but there are lines of tension around her eyes. “ We stitched you up nicely and brought you into recovery.”
I nod, terrified by the prospects I’m facing and shocked my father left the decision to me.
“If I don’t do it, I’ll be able to have kids?”
“As long as your partner has no issues, you should be able to carry a pregnancy either way. If you have a typical conception again, as we explained to your father, the likelihood you’ll have another ectopic pregnancy given the adhesions in your tube is extremely high.”
I sigh again, the concern in her eyes and the gravity in her voice is very compelling.
“You’re very young. I can understand how hard this must be. And you don’t have to decide today. The consequences of whatever you decide will be enormous. I wouldn’t make this recommendation unless I thought it was necessary. You’re very lucky you made it here in time. Ectopic pregnancies can be fatal. And as I said, the pregnancy is never viable.”
My stomach churns but I can see the choices she’s laying out for me clearly. She looks at me expectantly and I nod. “I should do it… the surgery, I mean, right?”
She nods “I think--”
“Dr. Appiah, excuse us. I’d like to speak to my daughter alone.” My father’s clipped, rigid voice brooks no argument.
But Dr. Appiah keeps her eyes on me. “Do you want to speak to your father alone?”
He explodes out of his chair. “Don’t be ridiculous.” He strides to the other side of my bed and glowers at her. “Of course she does. Get out.”
She bristles and opens her mouth to push back. I squeeze her hand, hard and when she looks down at me, I smile. “I would like to speak with him alone.” She looks tough, but he fights dirty.
She pats my hand, and says with a reassuring smile. “I’ll let you have five minutes, but then, you need to rest. I’ll be here for a few more hours, so just call the nurses’s station if you need me.” She gives my father a quick, disdainful glance and leaves the room.
He stalks over to the bed, his wrathful energy cold comfort after Dr. Appiah’s warm compassion. “Just when I thought I couldn’t be more disappointed in you.” His voice