Soul of the Sword (Shadow of the Fox #2) - Julie Kagawa Page 0,121
don’t tell me rank means nothing to you, Taiyo. It’s easy enough to say when you’re part of the Imperial bloodline, but if I spoke so casually to you in a court setting, I’d likely have my head cut off for the insult to your family name.”
“Do you despise me then, Okame-san?” Daisuke’s voice was soft. “Because I am a Taiyo, the noble class you hate so much? Does my bloodline make me a villain in your eyes?”
Okame snorted. “What are you talking about?” he said, sounding uncomfortable. “I have nothing but respect for you, even though a year ago I would’ve spit in your direction for being such a court monkey. There, I said it. Does that make you happy?”
Unexpectedly, Daisuke smiled, his eyes shining as he faced the ronin. “Arigatou,” he murmured. “I’m glad. Your opinion means a lot to me, Okame-san.”
Okame shook his head. “It shouldn’t,” he muttered, looking into the shadows.
“Why?” Daisuke eased closer, his expression serious. “I admire you, Okame-san. I’d hoped…” He paused, then said in a soft, earnest voice, “I thought I’d made my feelings for you abundantly clear.”
“Stop it.” Okame’s voice was a whisper. The ronin closed his eyes, turning his head from the noble a few feet away. “Now you’re just toying with me. There is no situation, in the entire empire of Iwagoto, where a Sun Clan noble being with a ronin dog would be socially acceptable. The dishonor would be so great that entire families would commit seppuku in shame, and the stain would be passed down to your children, your children’s children and their children, forevermore. Every generation after would know the story of the golden Taiyo’s greatest downfall. Even I’m not that profane.”
“If I wasn’t a Taiyo, then.” Daisuke hadn’t moved any closer; he stood quietly by the trunk, long hair rippling in the breeze. “If you could ignore my name, my family and my bloodline for only a moment. Would you be able to look at me that way? Would these emotions be reciprocated at all?”
“Damn you.” Okame opened his eyes to glare at the noble, baring his teeth. “How could they not?” he almost snarled. “From the moment I saw you on that bridge, I’ve had nothing but forbidden thoughts swirling through my head. It’s grown rather tiresome—I don’t normally think this much.” He sighed and stabbed his fingers through his hair, raking it back. “I wanted to hate you,” he said, though his voice was tired now. “It would’ve been so much easier. If I could’ve despised you like all the pompous, swaggering nobles that came before. Because it doesn’t matter what I think. It doesn’t matter that being around you is painful, that I have to pretend I feel nothing, that your teasing and pointed comments don’t affect me at all.” He sighed again, giving Daisuke a look of bitter amusement. “I’m not blind, Taiyo-san. I’ve gotten the hints. I just…I know my place. And I’m not going to drag you into the mud with me.”
Daisuke was silent a moment. Then, shockingly, a quiet chuckle drifted over the grass, making Okame scowl. “Am I that amusing then, noble?”
“Forgive me.” Daisuke glanced up, a faint smile still on his face. “I just find it ironic,” he mused, “that a ronin, who claims to despise samurai and makes a mockery of the Code whenever he can, would be so concerned about staining my honor.”
“Don’t read too much into it.” Okame scuffed a foot. “I’m just protecting my own head. I’d prefer for it to stay on my neck, if at all possible. Being around the royal bloodline has caused many a samurai to lose their head in the past.”
Daisuke straightened and took two steps forward, causing Okame to flinch and eye him warily. “My family isn’t here, Okame-san,” he said in a quiet voice. He raised a billowing sleeve toward the distant mountains. “The Imperial court is many miles away. No one is watching. No one will judge. What happens here tonight, the world need never know.”
I needed to leave. What was happening between Daisuke and Okame was their business alone. I was the intruder, privy to something that should not be seen, the hidden eyes in the grass. But I couldn’t turn away. My heart pounded, and I found myself unable to move. I crouched motionless in the grass, my tail wrapped around my legs and my ears swiveled forward as far as they would go, loath to miss a word.