reached out and ran his fingers through my hair, pushing it behind my shoulder. “I’m sorry your famous best friend disappointed you.”
“It’s my fault,” I whispered.
A deep sadness fell across his features. “Why would you say that?”
“I’m the one who pushed him into it.”
“Into what? The drinking?”
“No. The fame.”
He tilted his head. “You’re sad about making him famous?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s what pushed him into this. The pressure and the constant need to put on a face. His sister died and no one gave him a minute to breathe. To mourn. It was just—Tour. Record. Write more. Give more. Do more.”
“And he could have said no.”
“But—”
“No.” He cut me off. “You can’t take responsibility for a grown man’s decisions. I have no doubt it was hard for him. But he could have said no. He could have taken time. He could have gone to a cabin and been a hermit while he healed. When people die, those left behind have to decide how to get through it. The fact that he spiraled had nothing to do with you.”
I gave a little shrug, not sure I really believed him and even if I did… “I’m not sure that makes me feel any better, because the result is the same. My friend was stepping out of rehab, vulnerable, embarrassed, hounded by the media, and I wasn’t there.” I dissolved into tears and he wrapped his arms around me. “I’ve always been there before. What if he can’t do it without me?”
“Then he fails.” It was a simple statement.
I cried harder.
“Can I ask you something?” he said after a while.
I nodded.
“If he were to see you right now, do you think he’d be okay with how his life has affected you?”
I thought of what I must look like from the outside. I must look truly pathetic. Had Sean ever seen me this way? Had he been able to see what he was doing to me? He knew I didn’t like it. He’d apologized for it more times than I could count.
I didn’t know. Reading Sean’s mind wasn’t one of my gifts, and it was even more difficult separating drunk Sean from real Sean from famous Sean.
“I think,” I finally said, “that if he could really see what he’s done to me...he would hate himself for it.”
Jonas gave a stiff nod. “Good.”
I furrowed my brow at him. “You want him to suffer?” I was a little offended by that.
“I want him to face his own consequences.” His tone wasn’t malicious or vindictive. “And I want him to stop hurting you.”
♪♫♪
My dad called me the next day.
“Another article is up,” he said without preamble. “They have your name.”
I’d known this was coming, but my nerves rioted anyway. “Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”
“I’m sorry you have to deal with this, Sweet Pea.”
“It was bound to happen eventually,” I said with more stoicism than I felt. “Can you send me the link to the article?”
“Yeah. They found high school photos.”
I grimaced. “Of course they did.”
“At least you’ll get good at saying ‘no comment’.”
“That’s the hope.” Too bad I couldn’t trust everyone else to do the same.
The article wasn’t bad, really. I didn’t love having awkward photos of me as a teenager plastered next to the photos of Sean in all his airbrushed, pop-star glory, but at least the basic facts were accurate. We had known each other since high school. I had helped him in the early days. I was the mysterious girl that sometimes pulled him out of drinking establishments. All true.
I decided to call myself lucky and moved on with my day.
There was a reporter waiting for me outside the high school where I worked, but she couldn’t follow me onto school property, so she was easy to ignore.
A choir room full of musically-inclined teenagers was a lot harder to dodge though.
“Okay!” I finally shouted to the room at large. “Yes. I know Sean. Yes. We were friends. Unfortunately, that article is a little late because I haven’t had any contact with him in some time, and that’s how it will remain. No, I cannot get you tickets or backstage passes. No, I cannot get anything signed for you. No, I will not give you any information or gossip or stories about him.” I took a moment to stare them all down. “Now, we’re going to get to work. And it looks like Mrs. Berkley is out of patience, so I’m guessing any further questions will result in detention.”
Mrs. Berkley nodded her head.
They still whispered among