Naomi didn’t respond. She just waited for me to go on.
“I still love him,” I said, almost as a last-ditch effort to justify what I’d done. “And I’m still proud of what he’s accomplished. And—”
“Libby,” she interrupted me. “You know you don’t have to convince me, right?”
I pulled my lips to one side as I blinked back the tears. “I think I’m trying to convince me,” I admitted.
“Give it time. You’ll get there.”
I sniffed and dashed at my tears. “How’s your dad? Am I going to get a chance to vote for him?”
She groaned in frustration. “My father is so stubborn. He’s only been out of the hospital a few weeks and he has me lining up interviews for a campaign manager. The man is still practically bedridden and he’s planning to jaunt off across the country to drum up votes in six months.”
I laughed, recognizing the similarities she shared with her father in her description of him.
Lunch was lovely and my appreciation for Naomi increased yet again. By the time I was ready to leave, it almost felt like I could breathe normally.
On my way home, my phone buzzed.
Debbie: Sean woke up. He’s going to be fine. Just thought you should know.
The words stunned me like a punch to the gut, and I had to pull over when I started to hyperventilate.
He was going to be fine. Sean was going to be fine. Without me.
♪♫♪
It was almost a full week before I pulled myself together enough to brave the issue of Jonas.
This wasn’t something I could fix with a text or a phone call. He deserved more than that. So much more.
I knocked on his door and waited there with my heart in my throat. When he opened it, he looked surprised to see me, but he gave me a forced smile as he leaned his forearm on the edge of the door. “Hey.” His eyes weren’t angry, but they were definitely wary.
“You gave me a second chance, and I screwed it up.” Admit the guilt right up front and let the chips fall where they may.
“Yeah.”
“I’m really sorry about that.” I tried to say it with conviction, but my voice trailed off at the end.
He gave a little shrug. “That’s okay. You clearly have things going on in your life.” He was giving me an out. Or maybe he was giving himself an out. Either way, he wasn’t asking me to come in, and his expression was too neutral for me to believe that he wanted to take a chance on me.
My heart squeezed, wondering if I’d already lost my chance with him, but I had to try. I took a breath for courage and dove in. “You’re right. I did. I thought I had to keep taking care of Sean, but then I realized that what he needed and what I needed—and even what I could handle—were two very different things.”
His brow dipped as he considered my words. “Okay…”
“I won’t be running off to bail him out anymore. I, uh…I kind of let him go. Well, not kind of. I did. I did let him go. I realized I needed to take care of myself and stop trying to save him.” I gave a sad, awkward little shrug. “I walked away from our friendship.”
His eyebrows pinched. “I would never have asked you to do that.”
“I know. No one asked me to do it. Honestly, if someone had, I likely would have fought them on it. This was me. This was my decision.” And I would own it.
He watched me for a few moments and I wondered what he was thinking. Was he weighing the pros and cons? Trying to decide if he could believe me?
“Are you okay?” he finally asked.
I blinked. I hadn’t anticipated his thoughts going in that direction. “I’m…I will be. It’s going to take a while, but this is what I need. I do know that.”
He chewed on the inside of his lip for several long moments, studying me. I think he was trying to decide right then if he would give me a chance or give me the brush-off. If I were placing bets, I’d have doubled down on the brush-off.
Jonas was a lot better than I gave him credit for, though. And finally, after searching my eyes with a furrowed brow for longer than I was comfortable with, he opened his door wider. “Will you come in?”