He broke off a stick and tossed it in the fire. “Tis m’fault. I did this. I miscalculated.” He stood up. “I am tae blame, I ken it, and I can hear it in yer cries. Ye are blamin’ me, and ye arna wrong. Tis cruel but ye arna wrong.”
“Magnus!”
He stormed to the tent, angrily unzipped the door, crawled inside, and zipped it up behind him.
I was fucking shocked.
“Magnus Campbell!”
“Nae,” came from inside the tent.
“What do you mean, ‘nae’?”
“I mean, I am nae answerin’ ye right now as I am angry and ye best—”
“Magnus Campbell, don’t you ‘ye best’ me. Don’t you dare!” I angrily unzipped the tent and barged in.
He was sitting in the bedding. “I daena want ye tae come in right now.”
“Well you don’t get to decide that, it’s my tent too.” I huffed and crossed my arms. “This is bullshit, you don’t get to be mad at me — for what, because I’m crying? That’s part of my drama, you fucking married me, get used to it. I have to get used to your strutting around here all the time like a big manly man, you can deal with me being fragile sometimes.”
“I daena strut.”
“Yes you do, and you spread, you take up too much space. Sometimes, if you’re standing doing something, you keep standing there doing it, even if I need to get past. I have to go around. I always have to go around.”
“I daena want tae talk tae ye, I am too furious.” He lay back on the bedding with an arm over his eyes.
“About what? Fuck your fury.”
“Dost ye want tae come at me when I am furious? I daena think ye should.”
“Should? What, the great and mighty Magnus doesn’t want his wife to come in the tent with him, the mighty Magnus is too furious? Well, sorry, I don’t want to be alone, so you’re stuck with me.”
We were both breathing heavy, fuming in silence.
“Ye ken it, I am at fault, I miscalculated.”
“I did things too. I’m the one who jumped on the vessel.”
“Tis still my fault. Twas my mistress tryin’ tae kill ye that—”
“Your MISTRESS!!! Oh my god Magnus! Did you just fucking call her your mistress? Don’t you ever say that, ever to me. Oh my god — I will accept that she was Archie’s mother — fine, I accept that, but she was not your mistress. Ever, never ever.”
“I only meant that if it were nae for me, ye wouldna hae had tae—”
“Yeah, fine, if it weren’t for you I would not have murdered Archie’s mom in the forest of the eighteenth century. Does that feel better? Happy now? That was your fault.”
His foot was jiggling as if it wanted to pick him up and run him away.
“I am sorry if my crying sounded like I was blaming you. I suppose, in our marriage, I may have cried to make you sad or to take pity. I get that that could be one way I will try and win the upper hand, and upon reflection, I am not proud of that. But honestly, this is not one of those times, this is me, brokenhearted, because I can’t hold Isla or feed Isla. It has nothing to do with you as this is not anyone’s fault. I’m crying at the unfairness of the world, not in blame.”
He scowled. “I am tae blame. Ye are wrong in it.”
I watched him quietly for a moment. “Then we are at an impasse.”
“I suppose we are.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Naething, I want ye tae say naething. It winna help.”
“And not cry and be quiet and just let you blame yourself for this?” I scoffed. “That doesn’t sound like me at all.”
We both sat quietly for a moment and then staring at the tent ceiling he said, “I gravely miscalculated. I believed Lady Mairead would comply, that she wanted me tae survive. I greatly overvalued m’self. And tis a death sentence for ye.”
“It’s not just me, you’re in the same boat.”
“I ken, but I daena care about m’self. Tis what I hae done tae ye that I...”
I sighed. “What else could you have done?”
“I could hae strung Lady Mairead up by her wrists in a dark dungeon and made her tell me how tae rescue ye.”
I chuckled. “I do like the sound of that, but I would have died.”
“Nae, I could hae come with the same settings, I could hae come but with the knowledge of how tae rescue ye. Instead I