“Yes, it’s a little black animal with a white stripe, you’ve got them, surely?”
“What size is it?”
“Like a cat I think. Like a raccoon? Like between those two.”
“Okay, a striped stinkin’ cat. What did ye call it?”
“A skunk, now here’s the thing, it’s not always stinky, but if it gets scared it raises its tail and sprays you. Its smell can be smelled everywhere. It’s really hard to get off you. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“There once was a skunk who...” I giggled. “I forgot to think of something... okay, here, a skunk who fancied himself a gentleman. Now you say, ‘fortunately...’ and finish the story.”
“Fortunately he kent a tailor who built him pants for his wee tail tae—”
“Big bushy tail.”
“Big bushy tail tae hang out.”
“Now I add to it with, unfortunately... he was invited to the ball but come to find out no bushy tails were allowed.”
“Och, I see how tis played... Fortunately he had a verra long sword and he went tae the ball and said, ‘I am here tae dance. And ye canna stop me.’” He added, “Tis a mythological Scottish skunk.”
“Unfortunately, there was a beautiful lady that was standing to the side and no one had asked her to dance.”
“Fortunately the skunk kent she was an iora rua and that under her dress was a verra bushy tail, so he strode up and said, ‘Madame Iora Rua, would ye care tae dance?’”
“Unfortunately she didn’t know how to dance to bagpipes.”
“Och, tis silly, everyone can dance tae pipes, ye just do.”
I grinned. “Is that your part? You didn’t say fortunately.”
“Fortunately, the skunk said, ‘Madame Iora Rua, I hae lost interest in dancin’, now I am thinkin’ on what ye are hidin’ under yer dress and I was wonderin’ if ye might shew me.’”
“Unfortunately she became outraged, ‘How dare you be so forward, Master Skunk?’ But secretly she was a huge fan of nuts and wondered if he might have some that he might share with her.”
Magnus laughed. “Och! She has a wit, now fortunately, the skunk is undaunted by her outrage, he kent she was willin’, she couldna take her eyes from his sword.”
“Unfortunately she needed Master Skunk to actually make the first move, she was a lady after all, and—”
“Fortunately Master skunk is nae listenin’ anymore as he is a man of action, he will tell her, ‘Madame Iora Rua, ye are the most beautiful woman in the room and ye hae a sparkle tae yer eyes when ye look at m’sword, I believe ye are wantin’ tae be bedded.’”
“Unfortunately she was offended by his words, but still...” I leaned back on my arms, “she spread her legs just a little...” I spread my legs. They were under my skirts but I could see in his eyes it was just as effective as if I had been naked.
“Och,” Magnus ran his hand through his hair. “I am forgettin’ the point of the game as ye hae just...” He grinned. “Tis how ye win?”
“Hell yeah, first person who forgets how to keep going loses. You sir have lost to me, I wonder what I win?”
“I ken it, I will explain it in the tent.”
“As long as your explaining, kind sir, includes some tongue, I am ready to listen.”
He stood and took me by the hand and led me into the tent.
We crawled through the door, dropped our parkas to the floor and our outer clothes and then we both slid into our sleeping bags, zipped together nicely.
“These are so toasty.”
“Aye, but they are warmer down at the bottom, he climbed down my body, with kisses and licks and nibbles, slowly ever so lovely and so so slowly and I watched the shifting ambient light on the outside of our tent, the branches bowing in the night, the shifts and patterns of leaves and moon and clouds and snow and oh — while my husband brought me, with licks and kisses along my thighs and between my legs and around and around, to moans and out-of-my-head, and oh Magnus — I pulled him up, breathless and wanting, and held him and pulled him inside and wrapped around and we rode... on and on, writhing and holding and moaning and sweating, while the wind outside rose we met it with our own rise and swell and release.
And then to the sound of the wind, we cuddled, and just before we fell asleep he asked, “Did ye leave anything outside, mo reul-iuil? We will have a storm by morning.”