her as much as strangle her. Another reason to send her off. He had to concentrate on the goal. Here in the dark, with only inches dividing them, it would be hard to dwell on anything but her. Rain had matted her hair and washed away her makeup, and she was still a goddamn knockout. Somehow even more so. If it weren’t pouring outside, he’d take a walk to clear his senses and shake off his stupidity. She was spoken for. Practically engaged.
“Ellis, try to understand,” she said after a pause. She shifted toward him, and her voice softened. “Yes, I realize it might be dangerous. But you know about my past, about Samuel…so you know why I have to see this through.” Her sudden vulnerability only magnified the battle in his head. “Please, say something.”
Don’t marry him. The words rushed to his throat. They pooled on his tongue, ready to spill free. All he had to do was let them out.
But how could he? How could he tell her to pass up a life with Clayton Brauer? As much as Ellis wanted to disparage the guy, he couldn’t. Occasional arrogance aside, Clayton would make for a worthy husband. And he could give Lily and her son the secure future they deserved.
In contrast, here was Ellis, on the brink of being penniless, jobless, and homeless. If he didn’t count jail. Depending on a judge’s ruling, he could be back in a concrete pen before long, rendering him useless to anyone. A valid reason for her parents to care for him even less.
And yet, in this moment, despite all that, what he feared above all was not telling her. Of spending decades like his father, festering in silence and regret.
She was waiting for a response, the rain falling harder, when something flickered in his periphery. A light near the house.
Somebody was out there.
“Get down.” Ellis pulled Lily by her shoulder, and they dropped low in their seats. The map fell to the floor. Had the flashlight given them away?
He imagined Mr. Gantry marching down the drive. Shells loaded, finger on the trigger.
Lily’s eyes widened, questioning what he’d seen.
Ellis lowered her window for a better view. Once more, the air was black. “The light… It’s gone.”
It had been a mistake to park so close.
Lily dared to peek for herself. Ellis was about to start the engine, rarely an easy task, when the light reappeared. The glow of a window.
“It’s from inside the barn,” she said.
He’d been wrong. It hadn’t come from outside. Someone earlier—Mrs. Gantry, he’d guess—had used her kerosene lamp to navigate from the barn to the house. But he hadn’t seen anyone go back since.
“Something about it’s odd,” Lily said.
His gut told him the same. “I’d better go take a look.”
She agreed, and before he could tell her to stay put, she was out of the car.
“Lily, no,” he rasped, unable to yell. Even if he could, some good it would do him. Bridling his frustration, he hurried through the rain and over pebbles to catch up. If she couldn’t be discouraged, he’d at least stick by her side.
Without his fedora, water clouded his vision as they ascended the drive. He surveyed the house, confirming all was still and dark.
“Keep behind me,” he whispered, an unbending order, as they crept around a weathered truck. To his relief, she didn’t put up a fight.
Finally at the barn, he clutched the vertical handle of the door and cautiously rolled it open a crack. Sure enough, there was a light. A flashlight beam, aimed at the rafters. His heart skittered in alarm, but not enough to back off. He inched the door farther, causing a squeak from its metal track, and the light vanished.
Confounded, he glanced back at Lily. She was anxiously hunched with their flashlight, ready to click it on when needed. In that instant, he saw himself as a kid, caught reading under the covers after bedtime.
All at once, he knew the source of the light.
He stepped into the barn, and Lily followed. The place was dry at least, but the musty air carried an animal smell, along with a chill that ran down Ellis’s arms.
“Calvin?” he called out quietly. Then he closed the door and told Lily, “Turn on your light.”
She did just that, and the shadows of her face underscored the horror of what they might find. They separated, plunging into a search.
Ellis wove around pieces of farm equipment. Rain from his clothing dripped onto the dirt floor. He