So Gone - By Jennifer Luckett Page 0,31

I’m still mad at you,” she reminded me.

I leaned over and covered her mouth wit’ a kiss.

“Shhh. Let’s not even discuss that. Just trust me to handle it once and for all. I don’t ever want to lose you so I’m about to get right,” I promised for the umpteenth time since we’d been together.

“This is your final chance, Blunt, and I mean it,” she declared.

And reindeers really can fly, I said to myself. I had heard all of those threats before. I didn’t have no worries. Baby Girl couldn’t let go.

My Foolish Heart

Molaysia

I was determined to change Blunt. I kept hoping that one day he would become the man I wanted him to be. All of the old and bad choices that he had made were irrelevant. I tried not to let his bad habits faze me, but it was hard. I don’t think Blunt ever believed that I would walk away from him. To be honest, sometimes neither did I.

I could have easily found another man, but I couldn’t help who I had fallen in love with. In a twisted way, Blunt’s craziness that night turned me on. I convinced myself that he had to love me if he was willing to kill in order to keep me.

“That’s stupid,” I admonished myself, but the thought would not dissipate. The way he held me was food for my soul.

In a voice heavy with sincerity, he said, “Baby, I know that I have fucked up a lot. I’ve lied, cheated, and betrayed your trust over and over again. Honestly, I don’t kno’ why you keep giving me chances . . . you must really love me.”

“I do, Blunt,” I pledged.

“Yeah, baby girl, you’ve proven that,” he acknowledged.

“Well, if you know how much I love you, why do you continue to search for someone else?”

He seemed to contemplate the question before answering. Then he said, “Just giving it to you gully, Mo’. I think I’ve done that because deep down I don’t feel like I deserve you. I keep thinkin’ that you’re gonna up and leave a nigga one day, and I don’t want to get caught without someone to fall back on.”

“Blunt, that’s silly. You have to stop thinking like that, or you’re going to push me away. Don’t you ever think that I get tired of crying and being made a fool of?”

I was cuddled in his arms on the verge of crying again. He lifted my chin up and gently placed soft kisses all over my face. His touch was an aphrodisiac that reached down to the core of my soul. Loving him felt so good . . . and so bad.

Blunt read my heart like an open book. “Baby, do you think that I meant to hurt you?” he asked as he looked down into my face and stared into my eyes.

I let out a long sigh. “No, I don’t think that you intentionally tried to hurt me, but you should know that lies hurt more than the truth.”

“I feel you. No more games, Mo. I’m through wit’ the bullshit. I’m gon’ start back keepin’ a smile on your face.” He kissed the center of my forehead.

“All I ask is that you be honest with me. I can forgive the past, but you have to do better in the future,” I said.

“I will, baby girl. That's on er'thing. And now that everything is out in the open, I want you to be a part of all of my kids’ lives.”

I considered what he was asking of me. It was probably the grownup thing to do, but at the time, I was still in my feelings and could not be around the children without getting upset with Blunt all over again. I explained that to him as gently as I knew how.

“Okay, baby,” he replied.

“Just give it time,” I suggested.

Neither of us spoke another word. We just held each other and became lost in our own thoughts.

Minutes later, Blunt was knocked out, sleeping like a newborn baby with a pacifier. I eased out of bed and grabbed my cell phone off the nightstand. I had a call to make, and it could not wait any longer.

I tiptoed to the bathroom and closed the door. Then, I called Fabian to apologize for Blunt's actions. I rocked my leg nervously as the phone rang. Finally, he answered. As expected, his tone was not friendly.

"Fabian, I owe you an apology. Had I --- "

"Fuck an apology, Mo',” he cut me off.