The Snowmaiden, A Bride for Krampus - Jeanette Lynn Page 0,9
then process. I’d castigate myself and pull up them adulting britches if I was still doing this, come New Year’s. Surely, that was enough time to pull myself up by my boot straps.
Spotting that familiar, dorky cap with the bell on it as the odd couple came into view once more, wondering which one of them needed the heavy duty tampons they were pretending to study so intently, when a store employee came upon us, glancing between me and my unwanted companions, and asked if I needed anything. “They’re following me,” I called out loudly, then glanced over my shoulder to give them a big wave.
Creepster friends gaped, mouths dropping open, and pointed at one another questioningly.
Louder, I called, “I planned to call the fashion police, but local will do.”
“Fashion police?” Elf guy echoed.
“They have that here?” Tall and tampon box holding blurted.
“For a pair of bumbling fools dressed up as… Rudolph and Santa’s widdle helper?” I added snidely, because I wasn’t nice right now, and they were certainly on my shit list with everyone else—I was not to be trifled with this shitty Merry Bullshit’s eve. “Yeah, definitely.”
“She can see us…” Tall guy sounded shaken.
“Told you she was the one,” short guy told him in a loud whisper.
Glancing to the store clerk, who was talking quietly but rapidly into their phone to then leave their phone on, dropping it to hold it out at their side, the call still rolling, I met their wide eyes with a funny look of my own. “Police?” I mouthed, to their subtle nod.
I made a motion with my hand near my head, mouthing, “They’re crazy. Good call.”
“Of course, ma’am, I’ll… escort you to the register,” store clerk blurted, slowly walking backwards, never taking their eyes off of the pair, to guide me towards the front.
Leaving Rudolph and Santa’s Helper to their quiet squabbling, their attention otherwise diverted for the moment, the police showed up right as the clerk had finished ringing me up, the manager pretending to idly chat with the cashier, Sam, beside me. The manager Rex’s towering, thick form must have made the creeps feel ill at ease, forcing them to back off, yet they still remained near. They were peeking around a display case at me, pretending to admire an assortment of fast acting laxatives, when the police arrived.
Sheriff deputies, I corrected, with one look at their uniform. Not that it mattered. Either way, the cavalry had arrived and they’d hold them long enough I could make my escape.
Were these freaks locals or just passing through looking for a victim? They had serial creepos written all over them.
Maybe I would be selling that little cabin, if this was what I’d be dealing with…
Bags full of groceries, a personal escort out the door and safely to my car, I jumped as the short one shot forward and made to lunge towards us, shouting, “You don’t understand! You can’t let her go! We may need her! She’s naughty!”
“She’s not that naughty,” the other noted mildly, a contemplative look about him. “Look, Bels, we’ve frightened the poor doe in our observance of her.”
“It’s her!” this Bels howled. “Don’t let her get away!” Fighting the restraints he soon found himself in, he gritted his teeth as his shoulder was wrenched back.
“Sir,” the deputy kept trying to talk to him but he wasn’t having it.
“She SEES us!” he bellowed. “It’s a crime against nature! It’s impossible!”
“Uh...” The deputy beside them blinked, frowning, and stared.
“No! I’ll prove it! What do I look like? Tell me? What am I wearing?” Bels insisted. “What does my proof of identity state? Hm?”
“They’re looking at you funny, Bels,” Tall guy called over a heavy throat clearing.
“Mr… Darryl Dimpleton,” the deputy read aloud, then glanced at Bels.
“And what of my attire?!” Bels’ eyes were a strange silvery green as they bulged.
I’d seen enough. Thanking the deputy, I got one last look at Darryl Dimpleton, Bels, whatever, and his tall friend and entreated quietly, “You’ll get them the help they need?”
“Bringin’ ‘em down to the station, call the local doc in to have a look at ‘em,” he replied casually.
“Thank you.” Offering him a smile I didn’t feel, I added before he could wish me some form of happy holiday, “Have a nice night.”
“You, too, ma’am. We’ll be calling you if we need anything else.” He waved the paper with my information on it.
“Of course.” My head bobbed in a nod. Opening my car door, I slid into the seat.