told me it was frowned on to judge a child for their previous life or hold grudges. A new life meant new chances.” I knew I was rambling. My mother knew who she had been reborn from. I didn’t. Between her childhood and mine, our people had been decimated. No one would ever know again, not with so many dead.
“Are you okay?” he asked softly. “You can put that away. You don’t need to show me—”
“Yes, I do,” I said, trying to sound strong. “A lot of people don’t get it. They don’t understand that…I do everything for them,” I whispered at the end, running my hand over a naga skin purse. It was the newest piece of the collection. “All of it, I do for them. Raphael…I saved you four months ago, thinking you might know something about Mygi, and Mygi might connect to everything I’ve been…” I shook my head sadly. “It wasn’t real. It was a connection I made in my head based on a stupid little girl who owned a bag once.” I picked up the bag and sighed. “This one. Her brother works for Mygi. I thought there might have been something there.”
“Kaliya, it’s okay.”
“It’s not,” I hissed. “It’s not okay. It’s not okay that I dragged you into my life with my enemies and all of this. It’s not okay that I got Carter killed.”
“He and I made the decision to let him try feeding on me to fight back. Sinclair killed him for it and damn near killed the rest of us. We knew it was a long shot. We knew we could die that night. That wasn’t all your fault.”
“Yes, it was.” Carter should never have been in Sinclair’s line of sight. It was my fault. I was the one who used him for information. I was the one who lost the phone, detailing that simple conversation and ploy. I was the one who failed.
I don’t know what he saw on my face, but I knew something in me had begun to crumble and fall. A shield I had been holding so tightly, only Cassius and Hisao had ever seen past it in the last century, no one else.
I had the shield because it helped me be alone and kept me and others safe. I needed Raphael to know that, to know the dark parts about being a naga—about being me.
All because of this. This insane quest I was on to find who or what was behind the slaughter of my people. I was the only person who believed there was some higher plan. Adhar and the rest? They just thought it was hunters who were looking for big prizes—just the way of things. We were a small species and could be easy prey if we weren’t careful.
I was the only naga convinced something else was going on, and my quest for answers only got people hurt and killed.
I needed Raphael to know it could be him one day.
“I’d be willing to help—”
“You can’t help me with this,” I said finally, closing the chest to cut off his offer. I put it away while Raphael sat there, staring with wide eyes. “I just wanted to show you.”
“I went into your office earlier,” he said finally. “I saw your…board, like you did at the condo. Is all that trying to find out who’s killing the nagas?”
“Yup.” I closed the trap door and fixed my rug. “I thought I told you not to go in there the first time I brought you here.”
“I forgot because I’ve been in there before. When I watched you charm that snake.”
I looked up at him, narrowing my eyes. I had forgotten about that.
“Well…” I crossed my arms, staring at the big man still sitting on the edge of my bed. “Now, you’ve opened up to me, and I’ve opened up to you.”
“Yeah, look at us. Everyone is trying to kill us, yet we’re closer than ever.” He grinned, and I couldn’t help but smile a little, just a little. “We should do this more often. Maybe one day we’ll be friends.”
“A cold day in hell, I think is the Christian saying,” I said, shaking my head. He chuckled and didn’t move. He was right. Since the moment the explosion wracked the prison, and I realized he was over me, shielding me, we were closer than ever. I felt like I could talk to him, and he took it all in stride, everything I threw at him.