Raphael muttered, walking up beside me with a plate of food. “I didn’t know it could do that.”
“Yeah, I don’t tend to tell people about my security measures.”
Shoving his clothing at him, I walked off toward my room, listening as he followed slowly. I went into my bathroom and sighed, knowing I couldn’t hide in there all night. Turning the water on for background noise, I washed my face again.
How the hell am I supposed to survive a night in the same room with him? Of all the fucking things I need to deal with in the next ten hours, this just feels like a cherry on top of a shit sundae.
I could hear him finish off his meal and change as he mumbled to himself, but not what he said. I had the bathroom door closed and inched closer to it, curious and wondering if he felt the same way I did. I was always curious when it came to him. The desperate need to know what was going on in his head never seemed to abate for long.
“Should go sleep on the couch,” he muttered. “At least the bed is big…”
I tried not to snort and roll my eyes. Of course, I would have a king-sized bed. Did he really expect anything else? What I heard next is what surprised me.
“How the hell am I supposed to keep being a gentleman when I’m sleeping in the same goddamn bed?” He sounded so exasperated. His voice dropped as he continued to mumble to himself, but with my ear pressed against the door, I could still catch it.
“My life’s a fucking joke. Hot snake woman saves my life, offers to sleep with me, and I turn her down, only to end up in her bed anyway, and now without the sex. Shit, does she even realize what she does to me? I spend my fucking days trying not to think about her, and now I’m in the perfect position to fucking embarrass myself.”
I was stunned. For months, I had no idea what he thought of me. Now, I knew more than I bet he would ever want me to. My heart pounded as my biology, the need to bite him and mate him, jumped tenfold in a matter of seconds. He was attracted to me, and that made him fair game.
No. No, it doesn’t. He’s into a hot body, but he doesn’t know who the hell I am or what I’ve been through. He’s not going to want a woman with so much baggage. No guy does, not in the long run.
The two sides of my internal conflict continued to argue for what seemed like forever. The biological need had a strong argument. He was out there, getting into my bed, and I could have him before the hour was up. It wouldn’t be hard.
My logical mind and personal feelings, however, saw things differently. He would hate me if I tied him to me forever. Physical attraction was just that, physical. I didn’t want to mate a guy who would hate me for it. I’d never even wanted kids; still didn’t, for that matter.
Breathe, Kaliya. Put the fangs away. Get some shut-eye and keep on task. Deal with all of this, then deal with the new information and the mate.
Potential mate. Not mate. He’s not mine. Gods damn it.
It took a while, but I left the bathroom and looked him over, feeling much more in control. Maybe not in control enough because my eyes lingered places they shouldn’t have, taking in the muscles of his thighs, peeking out from under the clean pair of shorts. The shirt rode up, revealing his solid abdominals. He didn’t notice me, still setting up stuff on the bedside table. He straightened out and stretched his arms over his head, and my pulse jumped again.
I need to stop this show before I lose control.
“You haven’t showered,” I pointed out, seeing dust in his hair. “Don’t get into my clean sheets until you do.”
“Is that really something you’re worried about?” He seemed more exasperated than the situation warranted, but since I knew what he had just been mumbling to himself, I gave him a pass.
“I want to preserve some level of cleanliness in my bedroom, yes. Plus, if I wake up smelling smoke off you, who knows what I would do?” I shrugged one shoulder nonchalantly, but we both knew it wasn’t a light topic. I was the killer in the room, and he knew that.