But that was a week ago. I lift my chin defiantly. “So I’m not a Watcher. That’s fine. I’m a Slayer.” Each time I say it aloud, it feels a little more real, a little more right.
My mother flinches as though I’ve struck her. “That’s not what you want.”
“You’ve never asked me what I wanted!” I shove the pamphlet back at her. “Not once. And what about Artemis? She’s going to leave all this behind and go to boarding school too?”
“Artemis needs to stay with me. It’s best for everyone.”
“No, it’s not. I’ll bet you’ve never asked Artemis what she wants either.” For that matter, have I? Have I ever actually heard Artemis say she wants to be a Watcher? She was devastated when she failed the test, but was it about being a Watcher, or failing?
“I wish I could make my decisions based on what you want, Nina. But I can’t. There are bigger things at play here than your feelings. One day you’ll understand. Until then, you have to trust that I’m doing what’s right for you. For both of you. I’m your mother.”
“My mother?” I want to hurt her as much as she’s hurt me. “No. You’re a Council member. And since, according to you, I’m neither a Watcher nor a Slayer, I don’t have to follow your commands.” I stalk back into the library. Jade sees my expression and opens her mouth to ask me something, but I grab my stack of books and carry them to the far shelf. I kick the secret door aside, then storm through the hidden room, through the tunnels, and finally out into the dorm wing.
I drop the books in my room. Then, keyed up and furious and more than a little worried my mom will show up for round two, I go for a run.
It doesn’t clear my mind. I was never trained to know my body, to use it to its full ability. I used to be precisely aware of all my limitations. I have no idea what they are now.
My mother’s latest attempt to get rid of me nips at my heels. I can’t run fast enough to get away from it. The Council wouldn’t let her. Bradford would probably go against her. Eve definitely would. And Leo—I’m positive Leo would fight for me to stay. It makes me feel a little better, knowing I have the Silveras. Though I’m a bit surprised by my absolute confidence that Leo is on my side. Maybe I should tell him about the demon in the shed. But it would be so humiliating to admit. And then I’d have to tell Eve, because I’m sure he doesn’t have secrets from his mom. And she’ll tell the rest of them, because she’s on the Council.
Come to think of it, why hasn’t Leo found me today? Is it because we need to lie low and pretend so my mom doesn’t get suspicious? Or is he avoiding me after last night? Maybe he and his mother are talking about me, deciding what to do.
Everyone here is a Watcher before everything else. I need a Slayer to talk to. Or at least someone who understands what I’m going through.
As I leap over logs and duck under branches, a detail I had forgotten in all the chaos strikes me. I have access to people who knew Slayers better than anyone. Or at least, I have access to their writing.
I stole two Watcher diaries from my mother’s nightstand. It’s time to find out what they knew.
• • •
Artemis is in our room when I get back. She doesn’t hang around in the middle of the day—her work keeps her busy. And I still don’t know where we stand after last night.
“It’s Tuesday,” she says. It sounds like an accusation.
Then it hits me. It’s Tuesday.
Tuesday afternoon is Artemis’s only time off. We spend it together. Doing manis and pedis, refilling the holy water supplies, and sharpening stakes while watching movies on our ancient laptop. We eat protein bars we keep stashed so she doesn’t even have to go near the kitchen and dining hall. Normally, it’s my favorite day of the week. I spend the six days before carefully curating a selection of movies and choosing nail polish colors. But this week, I haven’t prepared at all.
“You forgot, didn’t you?” Artemis’s face is tight.
I did. But admitting it will hurt her even more. So again, I lie. “After what happened last night,