Sisters - Michelle Frances Page 0,77

she was going to say. Suddenly she felt as if she should have pushed Matteo, not been so inadequate and weak.

Kathleen settled herself into a seat. She sat back, appraised Susanna. ‘Your own children and you let them despise you.’

Susanna’s mouth dropped open in shock.

‘Chip off the old block.’

‘I don’t despise you, Mummy,’ said Susanna, feeling an instant need to defend her position, reassure her mother. Even as she did so, her weary internal voice was asking her why. After all these years, could she not tell when she was being manipulated and bullied?

Kathleen made a sound of disdain. ‘Are you not going to get me a drink?’

Susanna jumped up. ‘Of course. Would you like a tea? Coffee? Or I think there’s some orang—’

‘Anything.’

Susanna went into the kitchen. As she poured a glass of juice from the fridge, she took a deep breath. Don’t let her get to you, she told herself, trying to be stern, but when she went back into the living room, her hands trembled as she handed over the drink.

‘Thank you,’ said Kathleen, then she waved impatiently at the empty chair opposite her.

Susanna knew to lower herself into it. She waited as her mother took a sip of the juice then laid her head back and closed her eyes. Susanna watched her, as a gazelle might view a sleeping lion. After a moment, the glass began to tip in Kathleen’s hand. Susanna hesitated, unsure of whether to act, then as it tipped further, she got up, alarmed. She reached out her hand.

‘Leave it,’ said Kathleen, her eyes still shut.

Susanna froze.

‘Sit down.’

She retreated to her seat.

‘You can tell me the truth, you know,’ said Kathleen. ‘I know you poisoned Ben and I know you did the same to Ellie when she was small.’

Susanna looked at her mother’s face, old now. She could see the folds on her neck, the lined skin. Despite the fact Kathleen wasn’t even looking at her, Susanna was too intimidated to form a robust denial. ‘I didn’t,’ she said. ‘You’re wrong.’

Kathleen smiled, a mocking, dismissive smile. Her eyes popped open. ‘And there I was hoping for honesty, but I can understand why you won’t admit it. I didn’t treat you right when we cut you off. A lot of what you have become is my responsibility.’

Susanna didn’t know what to say, what was expected of her. She stayed silent.

‘It was hard for you. Financially.’ Kathleen took another sip of her drink. ‘I’m well aware of how you survived.’

The knots in her stomach tightened. ‘I got a job.’

‘Yes, yes, a piddly little thing in a clothes shop. Could’ve barely kept you in toilet tissue. No, it was your ex-husband’s alimony that stopped you going under.’

Susanna’s stomach started to churn. She considered just getting up and walking out of the room – knew she should, if she had the courage – but the part of her that despised herself knew she wouldn’t be able to do it.

‘He didn’t pay, though, did he? Humiliating enough that he left you because you turned out to be penniless, but for his new wife, the one who’d dazzled him with her millions, for her to be the one who paid your monthly allowance . . . Devastating, I should imagine.’

Susanna sat, writhing in misery.

‘If we hadn’t cut you off, would he have stayed with you? Was your money good enough? I rather think it would have been.’

‘I hate you!’

‘Just like a child, lashing out. My God, you’re in your late fifties now, surely you’ve grown up? My fault again, I suppose. I think it’s time I made amends.’

Susanna wasn’t sure if she’d heard right at first. Not the words – she was familiar with her mother dropping bait in order to manipulate – but it was her tone. It had sounded strangely contrite. A word she would never attribute to her mother. She remained wary. ‘What do you mean?’

‘When Matteo called me, of course I came to see what’s happened to my grandchildren. But I was also curious to see you. It’s been so many years.’ She paused, portentously. ‘Time has slipped by. And I don’t have long left.’

Shocked, Susanna sat up. ‘What is it . . .? Cancer?’

Kathleen’s eyes flashed in exasperation. ‘Goddammit, Susanna, do you always have to be so . . .’

Stupid, thought Susanna instantly.

Her mother pulled herself up short. Took a breath. ‘Old age, for crying out loud. Simple old age. Except there’s nothing simple about it.’ She sighed. ‘It’s a great leveller. It gives