Sins of Mine - Mary E. Twomey Page 0,14
toward grateful before getting distracted by how much I loathe Malrick, and all the people who sank to the lowest of the low.
Hurting people hurt people. That doesn’t make it okay, but I don’t want to repay his wickedness with a dose of my own. The cycle of abuse has to stop somewhere. I have to find a way to rise above it all, even if the best I can do is be civil.
I don’t have time for bitterness. I need to get to the next thing on my list.
That’s how it always goes these days. The second I’m offered a break, I use the time to hop to the next thing that requires tackling.
But I know I have to wash up before I can open up my tablet to check on my list. I’m positively filthy.
Paxton sidles up behind me, his arm sliding around my waist. He tugs me back so my spine rests against his chest. I love the way his chin hooks over my shoulder. It’s so natural—his body magnetizing to mine. “Did someone trick you in to turning in before midnight? Cheers, Malrick.”
Malrick smirks at Paxton and keeps up the stirring.
“I don’t think I can turn in yet, babe. I’ve got loads to do still.”
Paxton kisses my dirty cheek while Everly Ann sniffs his shoes. “I’ll tell you what: if you can convince Gray to work with you, then sure, deprive yourself of sleep all you want. He’s home now.”
Guilt swarms me at his well-aimed negotiation. “Gray doesn’t want to be out here, helping us. He doesn’t want to be here, period.”
Paxton shrugs, as if that fact is inconsequential. “He’s not doing well. You’re needed out here, yes, but these jobs can be delegated. Trust your teams. They want to help. But back at home, you’re irreplaceable. I’ve done all I can to help him settle into his life with us, but I’m not you.”
He’s right on all counts. The fact that sleep is a necessity if I want to be productive at all tomorrow is spot on. And checking on my boyfriend, who is in the pits of depression after being cast out from his people, is something that should be more than just an item on my to-do list.
People are more important than plans.
The thing is, it hurts that Gray is so bent on leaving us. His utter rejection of the life I’m trying to provide for us stings more than I can easily brush away.
I cuddle into Paxton’s half-embrace. “Gray was there for me when I couldn’t sleep in the cell. He stayed with me every night, and I never got any better at sleeping in the dark.” It’s not that I’m not willing to be there for him while he’s going through his own struggles. It’s that I cannot attach myself any further, given the clear exit plan he’s pursuing. “He’s going to leave us.” I shake my head. “I’m not ready for that.”
Paxton kisses my shoulder. “He loves you. And right now, he’s sinking. Tell me what needs to be done out here, and I’ll see to it. Gray needs you.”
I sigh, handing my shovel to Malrick, who has the grace to pretend he didn’t overhear every bit of our conversation. “This is the last foundation we’re pouring tonight, and it’s more than halfway done.”
Malrick wipes the sweat off his blond brow. “We’ve been at this all week. We know how to finish this one without you here.” He calls over his shoulder. “Barry, you cool to finish up if the captain turns in for the night?”
Barry gives me a two-fingered salute. “It’s about time. I thought you were some anomaly who didn’t need sleep or something. See you tomorrow, Captain.”
I don’t know how to walk away from work that still needs doing, so luckily, Paxton helps me angle one foot in front of the other. His hand in mine is most welcome, and feels like a warm blanket being draped over raw nerves.
Maybe I am more tired than I realized.
“You skipped dinner,” Paxton points out without a hint of scolding. “If you can get Gray talking, I’ll scrounge up some leftovers from the chow tent and fix dinner plates for the two of you. He’s been away from the camp during mealtimes most days. I don’t know how much he’s actually eating.”
Even though I’m filthy from head to toe, I lean up on my toes to kiss his lips. “I don’t deserve you.”
Paxton makes a contented “mm” sound under his